Stray Dog

058: Sacramental Wine

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 02:07:13 GMT

Thank God for the blood of Christ.

057: Joker O'Lantern

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:28:38 GMT

I don't even know what the fuck is going on anymore.

...Nill and I carved pumpkins earlier this week. I did mine as the Joker from the new Batman movie. It's based on this picture:

And came out like this:

I don't have a good camera, so you don't really get the full effect. But yeah. I thought it came out pretty well.

Anyway.

056: ...yeah.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 22:04:10 GMT

I haven't updated in awhile. New people again, right? I'm Haine.

I forgot how fucking drafty this church was.

OOC LOG: HAINE AND BADOU

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:35:55 GMT

Who: Haine and Badou
What: Haine returning home from Japan, random gunfire in several alleys, and Haine's (extremely NC-17) birthday present to Badou.
Where: the streets of the Underground City, and Haine and Badou's apartment.
Why: Because H/B finally needed to just fucking have sex already.
When: Monday, October 13.
Notes: Your characters weren't there and didn't witness this. This is rated NC-17 for virginity-lossage.

---

"Jesus balls shit fuck damnit whores cock sucking twat douching dick fucker-" gasped Badou, running down the street with his hair streaming behind him like a bright COME AND GET ME flag. His scummy boots pounded the pavement almost as fast as his admittedly quite weak heart pounded against his ribcage. "FUUUUUUCK-"

From behind him came the sound of gunfire, and pursuing feet. Badou made a helpless, terrified mole kind of noise, screeching, "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! CAN'T WE JUST ALL FUCKING GET ALONG!" A bullet dinged off his helmet, and this time the helpless, terrified mole was on fire.

Haine, walking his way from the train station to their apartment, heard Badou's shout and dropped his rucksack, drawing his guns and running toward the sound of his partner's voice and the unrelenting gunfire.

Badou's bright hair came into view as the albino rounded a corner, and without second thought, Haine turned his attention to the men chasing Badou, shooting them each in the middle of the forehead.

Badou howled in terror as fucking gunfire suddenly came from somewhere else what the cocks what the sweaty hot doggin' cocks. As his head snapped around to find the source of the gunfire, he ran right into the grill of a beaten old convertible, doing a flip over the hood and landing with a painful CRACK upside down on the windshield.

Whimpering, he covered his eye.

Haine put his guns back in their holsters and went back to pick up his rucksack. With his enhanced hearing, Haine could hear another group of men with guns approaching, so he ran back to peel Badou off of the hood of the convertible. "Badou! What the fuck did you do? There are at least ten guys coming up after you, not including the four I just killed!"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" shouted the redhead, his face apparently stuck in a rigor mortis expression of panic. A slew of bullets blasted through a neon sign just to the left of them, and Badou yelped and made a dive behind Haine. "OKAY I MIGHT HAVE DONE SOMETHING."

Haine let out a heavy breath of exasperation, dragging Badou around a corner. "Run, idiot. I'll get them." Haine turned around, ducking behind a dumpster, and picked off the first three guys that turned the corner behind them. The other seven slowed down, quickly finding the white shock of hair behind the dumpster, and they opened fire as Haine picked off two more. The remaining five turned out to be much better at their jobs and they leapt behind their own dumpster. Haine managed to pick off another before they'd organized themselves, and another as they opened fire. The remaining three were decent marksmen, and a few bullets managed to find their targets, one in Haine's shoulder, another in his side, and a third in his stomach. It didn't take long, though for Haine to pick them off, one by one.

Badou, meanwhile, was tearing ass down the nearest alley, where he stepped in several unsavoury things, and fell to the ground screaming and clutching his shin when one was an angry stray cat.

Haine reholstered his guns, and ran off in the direction of Badou's screams, wincing at the pain from his gunshot wounds. "Badou?" he called.

"BAD KITTY! BAD- OH MOTHERFUCKING FUCKMITTEN SHITCOCKS-"

Haine stalked up to Badou, and kicked the cat away, before kicking Badou squarely in the stomach. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked, a trickle of blood sliding down his lip.

"I didn't- OOMPH!" Badou groaned, arms looping around his stomach as he rolled onto his side and coughed"A-asslover!" On the other side of the building, the cat had similar complaints.

"What did you do?" Haine asked angrily, vaguely noticing that he was bleeding on his rucksack, and spitting blood out onto the street.

The redhead moaned some more, mumbling about the alley syphilis he probably had all over his face now.

Haine grabbed Badou by the front of his shirt and pulled him up off of the ground. "Badou. Tell me what the fuck just happened."

"Cabriones," rasped the redhead. "Maybe kinda slapped the wrong chick's ass in the club. Like... Marion Cabrione's ass. She was cool about it. I don't think she gave me her real number though." He coughed again, adding. "Hi, Haine."

Haine smacked Badou upside the head. "You're a fucking idiot." He threw Badou back down onto the ground. "Get the fuck up and let's go home." He sighed and said almost as an afterthought. "Hi, Badou."

He then promptly threw up and entire stomachfull of blood.

"Maybe 000 is a real area code, though," mumbled the thoroughly abused Badou, getting to his feet again. He was unperturbed by the vomiting next to him. "I mean. Could happen, right?"

At the other end of the alley, there was a roar of outrage, and someone shouted something terribly cliche like "GET HIM" or "THERE HE IS."

Haine wiped his mouth off on his sleeve. "Fuck." He drew his Mauser again, picking off a few of their pursuers as he began to run, taking a hold of Badou's sleeve and dragging him after him.

With Badou directing them into a maze of filth encrusted alleys and the constant threat of the bang of a Mauser being the last thing they'd ever hear, the hitmen's pursuers soon were confused shouts and pained groans far behind them. Finally, Badou leaned against the side of a dumpster, intake of breath sounding like a revving engine as he took frantic drags off his cigarette [he, apparently, not the being best at cause and effect].

Haine leaned against the wall next to the dumpster and caught his breath. "I don't even know where the fuck we are anymore," he whined, spitting out another mouthful of blood. He was quiet for a moment. "Welcome back to the fucking Underground City, Haine," he muttered, with a soft laugh.

Badou didn't either, really, but he decided not to mention that yet. As he started to be able to breathe without feeling like his lungs were on fire, he panted, "Japandia might have underpants in vending machines, but they don't got the friendly kinda folks we got here. Weren't you homesick?"

"Not for the atmosphere," Haine said, lips quirking lightly into a smile. He picked absently at the bullet in his shoulder. "Can we go home now?"

"Uhhhhhhh." Badou looked around. "About that."

Haine sighed heavily. "Badou. I just spent twelve hours on an airplane. I want to go home. Please tell me that you know where we are."

Badou's nervous laugh preceded his backing up slowly, out of range of Haine's fist.

"Don't you know the graffiti...?" asked Haine, clenching his fists.

Eye darting to the fists, to the brick walls around them, and back, Badou gave another nervous laugh. "Silver's tacky. I dunno what gang uses it."

Haine punched the dumpster, leaving a dent in the metal. "Well then fucking find something that looks more familiar," he said through clenched teeth.

As if something possessed him [because he was stupid but not THAT STUPID], Badou found his pointer finger slowly raising. "Boop," he said, pointer poking Haine's nose.

Haine glared at Badou. "What the fuck are you doing."

"....I found something," rasped Badou. He blinked.

Haine smacked Badou in the forehead. "You're a fucking idiot. HOME, jackass. Which direction."

"I'm not a fucking bloodhound!" snapped Badou, punching the other man back in the shoulder. The bullet that had been caught in the skin clinked to the pavement.

"Thanks," said Haine, rolling his eyes. He slammed Badou back against the dumpster and started looking for a more familiar street, rucksack still over his shoulder. "By the way," he said over his shoulder, "Happy birthday."

Badou barked a laugh, rubbing shoulders that he was fuckin' sure had to be bruised. He trailed after the other man, whining, "Been a real fuckin' blast so far. I think Mimi forgot. Man, nobody gives a fuckin' shit. I bet you didn't even get me anything."

Haine shrugged, heading for the next corner. "Like anyone gives a shit about my birthday either. And of course I got you something."

Perking, Badou's long, slow strides caught up with Haine's quicker, shorter ones. "You diiid? What'd ya get? Is it in your rucksack? Lemme see. What is it?"

"Home first," Haine said, speeding up.

Badou's fingers plucked at the rucksack on Haine's back. "Fuck thaaaat, what is it? I bet it's in here, it has to be. 'Less you got it outta Skymall. That shit's awesome. Did you get it outta Skymall? Man, I want a robot for the pool that fetches beer. They got those, for real. Is it in here? What is it? I want it now-"

Haine punched Badou in the face and took his bag back. "Home first."

"Akmdflmkfk!" said Badou, clutching his face. He didn't make another grab for the bag as they made their way.

Haine pointed at a wall after a few minutes of walking. "Orange. I see orange paint. Whose's that?"

"Ozzers," mumbled Badou, subtly shifting just to the back of Haine. "Love PCP. Uhm. Either lower north-east or lower east."

"Okay. Which way?" Haine finally plucked the bullet out of his side and threw it down an alley.

Badou jerked his chin, and the two disappeared down yet another side alley. Before long, they emerged in a very familiar slum.

Haine sighed in relief. "Better," he said, elbowing Badou in the ribs.

They finally approached their building, and Haine collapsed into the elevator. "Fuck the stairs," he said. "You coming?"

"Seeya soon~" Badou called over his shoulder, already heading for the stairs. Hell to the no was he taking the demon lift.

Haine rode the elevator up without incident (for once), and let himself into the apartment, dropping his blood soaked rucksack haphazardly on the floor and shucking off his jacket, boots, and ruined shirt.

When Badou got in, he was out of breath again. "Jesus fucking Christ," he wheezed, bending over with his hands on his knees like an old coot. "Why the shitballs did we think a seventh floor flat would be awesome, again?"

Haine tossed his shirt into the bedroom. "Remember the alternatives?" he asked, pulling off his socks.

"Deaf old lady who wanted to gum your peeper like a pro," rasped the redhead brightly. He shucked his coat and kicked off his boots too, heading for the kitchen. "Y'wanna beer?"

Haine didn't answer, following Badou into the kitchen and pushing him up against the nearest wall, body flush with the other man's. "I'm not thirsty."

"-Er," said Badou, colour rising to his face. "Lots of tiny cups of expensive liquor on the plane, huh. To wash the tiny pretzels down with. That make you feel okay about your tiny dick."

Haine raised an eyebrow. "My tiny dick?" One hand slipped sneakily up under Badou's shirt.

"It's alright if you're lookin' to please an amoeba I guess." Badou grinned, feeling fingers tracing up his stomach. "Weren't you in some kinda retarded bet?"

"Bigger than yours, Badou," Haine said leaning in to nip at the redhead's ear. "Didn't I say I was going to give up?"

Suppressing a pleased noise, Badou shifted against the wall vaguely. "Quitter," he admonished.

"I beat Akaya," Haine said, shrugging and kissing just behind Badou's ear. "And I was up against fucking Setsuna and Chidori."

"Where the fuck is my gift at?" muttered the redhead, twining his fingers absently through white hair, pulling none too gently. "I'm twenty. That's kind of a a big deal."

"Bedroom," said Haine nipping at Badou's jaw and pulling away just a little. He smirked.

Badou's face lit up like a Christmas tree in a forest fire. "Skymall?"

Haine sighed. "You're a fucking idiot. Just get in the bedroom." Haine pulled away further and shoved Badou in the general direction of the bedroom.

Stumbling, Badou laughed, murky green eye immediately snapping around the room in search of a golden toilet, a stripper with tassels, or a cigarette the size of a sleeping bag. "Where is it?"

Haine rolled his eyes and didn't answer. Badou was just as fucking oblivious as ever. He shoved the redhead backwards onto the bed, crawling on after him.

Absently, Badou decided being shoved into bed by Haine was a lot better than being shoved into brick walls and dumpsters by Haine. Still, what a pushy fucker. He noogied the albino's head vigourously, grinning. "C'mon, boy, where is it? Huh, boy?"

Haine caught Badou's wrists and held them still. "Let me give it to you."

Badou's eyebrows arched expectantly, a crooked smirk on his lips.

Haine pushed Badou so that he was lying flat on his back, and threw one leg over so that he was straddling the taller man's hips. "You're such a fucking idiot," he said, leaning in to kiss the redhead, hard.

The kiss was abrupt, and Badou couldn't help but gasp a little into Haine's mouth. As soon as he caught up with events, he responded eagerly, roughly.

Haine inwardly grinned, nipping harshly at Badou's lips and letting a hand drift back up under his shirt.

Lips drawing breath against Haine's, Badou's eye glinted with amusement. "Sexual favours? That's my present?" He hadn't been touched like that in more than two damn weeks. Restlessly, he shifted. "I get those from you all the time. On tap. Because you love the cock."

Haine nipped at Badou's jaw and flushed, unwittingly. "No." He pushed Badou's shirt up roughly. "Shut up."

"No?" Badou turned his head, teeth finding Haine's ear. "I'm not judging you because you love the cock. My cock, mostly. I mean, it's a pretty awesome cock."

"I already promised to you, so maybe it's not much of a gift..." Haine began to babble, kissing Badou's neck and digging his nails lightly into his side.

Not really listening, Badou shivered just a bit in response to his partner's nails. "Mm, that's good, harder. What?" He ran his fingers up Haine's bare back, retracing lines of muscle that were already familiar.

Haine didn't answer, moving to kiss Badou again as he scratched down Badou's side with his fingernails.

Returning the kiss made Badou forget momentarily about his present. He moved his mouth against Haine's playfully, licking and nipping.

Haine couldn't help a sigh that escaped. He'd missed this. He pushed Badou's shirt up further, tracing his fingers lightly over the lines of Badou's chest as he kissed him more insistently.

Badou made a noise low in his throat, matching intensity for intensity.

The sound Badou made spurred Haine on, and he lowered himself to lie flush with the other man, his hips rolling lightly almost of their own volition.

The redhead let a shaky, rasping chuckle into Haine's mouth. "Sure you wanna drop outta the bet? Fifty bucks..."

Haine smiled. "Setsuna told me that he's never jerked off," he said, kissing Badou softly between sentences. "I couldn't win." Another kiss. "This is worth more than fifty bucks."

"Present my ass," mumbled Badou to Haine's cheek, grinding his pelvis up into the other man's, subtle as a neon blinking sign.

Haine's breath hitched in his throat. "This is a great fucking present," Haine breathed, rolling his hips to meet Badou's again. "Pun intended."

"Nn," responded Badou succinctly, nails digging into Haine's lower back. "Ah. Sure."

Haine smiled, dipping his head to nip at Badou's throat. He pushed Badou's shirt up even further. "Off," he demanded.

His t-shirt bunched practically up his nose, Badou snorted [cotton] and pushed Haine's hand away. He stripped off the shirt, his hair getting mightily mussed in the process.

Haine leaned back in to nip at Badou's collarbone, his hand sliding down the newly exposed skin, coming to rest at the button of Badou's jeans.

Badou settled comfortably back, and started humming the 'Happy Birthday' song to himself.

Haine snorted. "You're a jackass," he muttered against Badou's shoulder as he unbuttoned and unzipped Badou's fly.

Laughing, Badou carded his fingers absently through Haine's hair, yanking obnoxiously. "I don't see you stopping."

Haine nipped at Badou's collarbone, hard. "That's because I like it," he said, tugging Badou's jeans down.

"Cock?" beamed the redhead, colour rising mildly to his face at the press of the other's teeth. He wriggled his hips, helping Haine remove the jeans.

Haine ignored what Badou had said and sat up to get better leverage, pulling the jeans all the way off and tossing them into a corner, before placing both hands on the redhead's chest and scraping his nails down harshly.

"Fuck-" swore Badou, the colour on his face deepening. His hands gripped the albino's hips. "Jesus fucking Christ."

Haine kept sliding his hands down, nails sliding over Badou's hips and down his thighs, taking his boxers with them.

Badou arched into the touch, hips rising enough off the bed to take off the boxers completely. "..to meeee.." he rasped, off key and slightly breathless.

Tossing the boxers into the corner along with the rest of Badou's clothes, Haine leaned back in to kiss Badou again, biting at the other man's lips almost hard enough to draw blood.

Wrapping his arms around the other man's shoulders, Badou returned the hard kiss with even more fire, playing around over and done with. He pushed his hips up into Haine's again, tongue licking deeply into the other man's mouth.

Haine ground his hips harder down into Badou's impatient with the thick fabric of his leather pants, that suddenly seemed just as uncomfortable and hot as Badou always complained they were. Without breaking the fiery kiss, Haine shifted to unbutton the fly of his pants, and attempted to pull them down, unable to get enough leverage to get very far.

Badou's laugh was muffled in Haine's mouth, and he broke the kiss to slide his hands down Haine's ass, tugging the stupid leather pants down to the albino's knees. "Up," he mumbled, impatient and amused, his scarred hand already sliding down toned abs and through soft white hair, touching and caressing. "Come on, fucker."

Gasping at the sudden contact, Haine shifted, pulling the pants off the rest of the way and leaned back in to kiss Badou again, his hand finding its way between their bodies, stroking lightly.

Mouth parting against Haine's to give a raspy moan, Badou was unashamed- they were way beyond embarrassment at this point. Every touch Haine gave him felt like a relief and a building of pressure all at once. "Yes- god, fuck."

With his free hand, Haine reached into the space between the mattress and the wall where they'd hidden the small bottle of lube, clutching it tightly, anxiously in one hand has he moved to kiss Badou's neck, hiding his face.

Badou's eye shuttered in pleasure as he tipped his head back to Haine's kisses, characteristically oblivious to Haine's building anxiety. He pushed Haine's working hand away, stroking them together heavily.

Haine moaned into Badou's neck, forgetting for a moment what he was doing, but quickly snapping back into the moment. He flipped the top of the bottle in his hand open, wincing a little at the clicking noise it made. He shifted to pour some of the lube onto his fingers, getting more and more nervous as time went on.

Thanks to the click, Badou caught on to what he assumed Haine's intentions were. He quirked a crooked smirk, his working hand slowing and then slipping out from between them entirely. Pushing at Haine's shoulder to free himself, he scooted up the bed, bringing up his legs to bend at the knee and letting them fall open. He gave his partner a grinning, amused look, laced with lust.

Haine was sure that Badou still had no idea what his real intentions were, but at this point, that was probably a good thing. Badou's continuing enthusiasm made Haine's breath hitch in his throat and he shifted so he was kneeling in between Badou's legs, one finger gently probing as his other hand moved to stroke Badou slowly.

"Ah..." Badou tensed, then consciously made himself relax. They'd practiced this before on both of them, and they were starting to get, so he thought, pretty okay at it. He focused on the slow strokes, wrapping his hand loosely around Haine's for more pressure.

Haine pressed his finger in slowly, carefully, searching for that spot, concentrating on being as gentle as possible, as his heart hammered harder in his chest.

"Wh..." Making an effort to think clearly, Badou blinked a few times. Haine's face was all scrunched up and narrowed. "What? S'wro-oh shit!" Just barely, the redhead kept his eye from rolling into the back of his head. He'd never fucking get used to the sudden, intense pleasure that weird little spot brought. And Haine was getting better and better at finding it quicker every time. His breath came shallow. "Christ."

Haine relaxed just a little bit, taking a deep breath and attempting to slowly introduce a second finger, so distracted that his other hand stilled completely.

Which was fine, as Badou's hand, still curled around Haine's, took over with enthusiasm. "Fuck, Haine..." The sensation was thoroughly toe-curling enough to distract the taller man from the slight pain that came with the second finger.

Haine's fingers found their way back to Badou's prostate, gently stretching him out as he stroked that spot, his own breath becoming heavy with anticipation.

Moans started to tumble from Badou's lips as wave after wave of pleasure shook through him, each one pushing him a little bit higher, a little bit closer to release. "Oh, fucking shit, fucking, fuck..." His hand on Haine's sped up, wanting to rush headlong towards the finish line.

Haine forcibly slowed his hand in Badou's, not wanting this to be over before they got to the main event, also attempting to carefully and slowly introduce a third finger. Expecting Badou to catch wind of his true intentions any second, Haine held his breath.

Badou grunted at the further intrusion, the stretch on his muscles painful. His eyebrows also knit in frustration at the denial of his orgasm. "Ahhh. The fuck, Haine- ahhh, ah." Still, he didn't put all the pieces together.

Haine let out the breath just a little bit, pushing further slowly, stretching as best as he could while trying not to cause Badou too much pain, unsure of how to take the next step.

Shifting and swearing hoarsely, Badou slowly, painstakingly adjusted. He bore down on the fingers tentatively, rewarded by the sharp, white-hot spike of pleasure that shot up his spine and made him writhe. It still hurt, quite a bit, but fuck if that spot didn't make it worth it. "Mmm..."

Haine bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood as he stretched Badou out as much as he could. "Badou?" he asked carefully, starting to get painfully aware of his own arousal, his stomach flipping over in anticipation.

"H-huh?" rasped the other man, shakily. His eyepatch was askew as he looked up at Haine, his hair flopped messily over that side of his face.

Haine used his free hand to gently remove Badou's eyepatch. "...you ready?" he asked, carefully.

Badou bit his own lip, clenching around the fingers in his body in random shivers. "Wh-what?" he grit. "I b-been ready, I need to come, Haine-"

"No," said Haine, more insistently. "Are you ready?"

Finally, it hit. Badou's eyes widened hugely, unseeing and seeing. "Oh."

Haine's non-eyebrows knit together. "...Badou?"

There was a tense few moments of silence.

Then, Badou exhaled a shuddery breath. "Yeah, fuck it." A wry, crooked grin stretched his lips. "Lets do this fucking thing."

Haine let out the breath he'd still been half-holding, and grinned back. "Yeah?" he asked, already reaching for the bottle of lube again.

Instead of responding, Badou took the bottle from Haine, squeezing a generous amount into his own palm. He then pulled the albino closer, wrapping his hand around the other man's length and slicking it, strokes firm and thorough.

Haine couldn't suppress a low groan, his heart beating out of control. "Okay," he breathed shifting to position himself between Badou's legs. "Okay."

As slowly as he could make himself go, Haine pressed forward, already almost overwhelmed by the heat, how tight it was, and even just the fact that this was happening at all. He had to take a deep breath to keep himself from losing his self-control. "Fuck," he breathed, "Badou...?"

On either side of Haine's lap, Badou's long legs shook. His mismatched eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth parted as he took in sharp, shallow breaths. "Jesus motherfucking Christ," he forced through clenched teeth. It burned, felt like he was going to be split up the middle- it was fucking too much, and Haine wasn't even all the way in yet. "Hnnn."

"Are you okay?" Haine asked, fairly panting and pushing forward just a little bit more.

"No, you shithead," gasped Badou. "Your cock is up my ass. Fucking son of a bitch, how do people do-" the push silenced him, and he broke off with an odd noise from his throat. "C-come on."

"What?" asked Haine, stilling. "What do you want me to do?"

Fisting the bedsheet, Badou took a few measured breaths. His legs jerkily wrapped around Haine's waist, pulling him closer. "In. Finish what you s-started, j-jackass."

Haine didn't have to be asked twice. He completed that careful forward push, stilling again to make sure that Badou was okay, the stop-and-go becoming maddening.

After a long, long few moments where the redhead's body adjusted to the fullness, a mad sort of laughter bubbled up in Badou's chest. "Move."

Haine held his breath, pulling his hips back just a little, before pushing back in, starting up a slow, shallow, careful rhythm.

Eyes lidded, Badou's grunts of pain gradually lessened, becoming sharp intakes of breath. He watched Haine's slow grind, the play of the muscles in his shoulders, the look on his face that he'd never seen before. "H...ow is it?"

Haine laughed breathlessly. "Fuck, Badou," he said, pulling out a little further before sliding back in with a sharp hiss. "You okay?" he asked, leaning down closer to Badou.

The redhead made an affirming noise, legs still trembling slightly. He managed to get one hand unclenched from the bed sheet, and twined it in Haine's hair. "M'...okay. Fuck me, Haine."

Haine groaned at that, increasing the pace of his hips, keeping his eyes trained on Badou's face. "Jesus fucking Christ," he panted, one hand moving between their bodies to take hold of Badou, stroking erratically, having trouble concentrating on anything but the movement of his hips.

Badou hitched one leg up higher on Haine's waist, trying for an angle that hurt less- the touches the other man giving him helping. He met Haine's gaze, experimentally clenching his muscles.

Haine fairly choked on a breath at that, still staring into Badou's face. "Is this okay?" he asked, as an afterthought adjusting his angle, hoping to hit that spot.

"Shut up," rasped Badou curtly in response, bringing Haine's face closer to his, pressing cheek against cheek, his blind eye facing Haine. Just around the edges of the fullness and pain started to bloom something... not so bad. The smoker tightened his muscles again, shivering.

Haine nipped softly at Badou's jaw as he increased his pace just a little, getting a bit frustrated with being so careful. Even as it was, he knew he wouldn't last too much longer, and he tried to devote at least a little of his concentration to the hand still wrapped around Badou.

Badou made a low noise, reaching down. Instead of wrapping his hand around Haine's, however, he removed it, placing it on the bed beside his head. His voice was hoarse when he spoke against Haine's jaw. "Fuck me. How many times you gonna lose your fucking virginity?"

Haine shuddered at Badou's words and moved to allow himself better leverage as he stopped holding back, breath coming in short gasps.

Badou let his eyes close, sighing. "Y-es..."

Haine moved to bury his face in Badou's neck and his eyes closed as well, as he lost himself in sensation, pressure building quickly now.

Absently, Badou heard the floor beneath their mattress creaking, just under their harshly drawn breath. "Come on," he urged Haine lowly, stroking his shoulders, his hair, his back.

"Fuck," Haine breathed, beginning to lose whatever control he still had left. "Badou...I..." he warned, voice shaking.

Badou tilted his partner's face up from his neck, hands still touching and stroking. He covered Haine's mouth with his own, kissing him deeply, roughly.

Haine made a slightly startled sound in his throat, quickly recovering and kissing Badou back, rough and uncoordinated as the movement of his hips finally became too much and he came, groaning into the other man's mouth and clutching so tightly at the blankets on the bed that he nearly ripped a hole in them.

Exhaling hugely, Badou thought Christ, thenoh fuck ew, finishing with well, that's done, then. He kept running his hands up and down Haine's shoulder blades.

Haine moved his face back to Badou's neck, hiding for a moment, and pulling out carefully. "Badou...?" he asked anxiously.

"Mm?" responded Badou, wincing mildly as Haine pulled out. Ah, so the limping jokes had some basis in reality after all. "Jesus, my legs are cramped as shit. Let's do it in a different position next time, yeah?" The redhead curled his fingers into the albino's tousled hair, grinning.

At that, Haine laughed breathlessly, lethargically lifting himself up and moving from between Badou's legs, but staying close, still hiding his face. "Was that...okay?"

"Ehhh. Pack'a smokes might'a been a better gift," hummed Badou airily, eye closing again, the corners of his mouth twitching.

Haine snorted and pulled away, reaching for his rucksack and pulling out a carton of cigarettes with a big red bow on it. "Better?" he asked, finally meeting Badou's eyes.

Badou burst out laughing. Greedily snatching the pack from the other's hand, he gave Haine a sly look as he shook one out of the carton. "Your virginity and- lighter, it's over there on the floor- a high end carton. Yah, alright. I'll accept it." He pulled Haine back, giving him a sloppy kiss. "Thank yoooooou, dogboy. Now, how great of a fucking lay am I?"

Haine laughed again, nipping at Badou's lips. "I can honestly say, it was the best sex of my life," he said, smirking.

Cackling, Badou pushed the other man's face away by the forehead. He stuck a cigarette in his mouth, jutting his chin out for a light. "Well, so long as the sex was good," he sighed dismissively.

Haine lit Badou's cigarette, frowning. He paused for a long few moments before saying, "It wasn't completely terrible for you, was it?"

Shooting Haine an amused look over his cigarette, Badou took a long, long drag. He exhaled ash when he spoke, replying, "Did I blow my rape whistle?"

He reclined back again, humming thoughtfully. "It was weird. It'll get better though, I think. I mean, it started off like. Ugh? and then went to Owwww, and for a couple minutes there towards the end it was Huhhhh? and H...uh."

Sighing in almost-relief, Haine nodded. He was quiet for another minute or two, before suddenly bursting. "Holy shit, Badou, we just had sex."

"I know, I was there too."

Haine halfheartedly shoved Badou over. "Oh, shut the fuck up, you know what I meant."

Turning on his side to face the albino, Badou arched his eyebrows. "Is the world all sparkling and new now?"

Haine smiled. "The world is pretty much the same." He shifted to lie on his back, yawning as he moved. "What about for you? You just had sex with a dude."

The chainsmoker made a face. "The world is achy and sticky in weird, confusing new places."

"It can only go up from there, right?" Haine asked, pulling Badou's arm towards him and biting it.

Badou laughed, flailing his other arm at Haine. "It better, mofo."

"It's me," said Haine, waggling his eyebrows and grabbing at Badou's other arm, tugging him closer. "At any rate...happy birthday, Badou."

A cloud of smoke was blown into Haine's face.

Haine stole Badou's cigarette and took a drag, blowing the smoke back into his face.

Laughing again, unperturbed by the ash, Badou rolled after the albino. He winced slightly, trying to snatch the cigarette back with one hand, and trying to shove his fingers up Haine's nose with the other.

Haine pushed Badou's hands away, attempting to take another drag before the redhead could grab the cigarette back. He managed to take a short puff before the cigarette was ripped from his fingers. He blew the smoke away from Badou this time.

Badou settled off to the side of Haine, smoking and looking thoughtfully at the albino.

Haine settled on his own side of the bed, grabbing a pillow and propping it up under his head. "What?" he asked, noticing that Badou was still looking at him.

"I'm all gross and shit and I didn't come," Badou pointed out. "What are my chances of a Birthday Blowjob in the shower."

Haine pretended to think about it for a few seconds. "I'd say about 100%," he finally decided.

Sitting up, Badou grabbed Haine's arm, smirking. "Time to blow the candle."

055: Akaya

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:51:37 GMT

Still going strong on that whole Seinfeld Bet thing.

And I'm still in Japan with Akaya. He's awesome and I'm having a good time. He has a fucking magic carpet. So that's kind of fucking awesome. It's pretty awesome to be up on the surface. Up on a not-shitty surface, I mean.

Yesterday we went to a restaurant called the Rainforest Cafe. It was like eating in the middle of the Animal Planet channel and the whole thing was kind of fucking ridiculous. The ceilings are fucking awesome, though. I want one of these in our apartment, Badou.

I don't really know what my plans are for the rest of the week beyond teaching Akaya some more German, and letting him practice his aim a little more with my Luger. But it's not like any of you give a shit, so whatever.

Badou, I think I'll be coming home this Friday. Okay?

054: Seinfeld Bet

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:04:30 GMT

So I joined that Seinfeld Bet thing. I plan on giving you all a run for your money. Although I'm really not sure if it's worth only $100. But whatever.

Hey, Badou, I'm going to Japan to stay with Akaya for a few days.

New people again too, right? Hi. I'm Haine.

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:00:08 GMT

WHAAAAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

WHERE MY PIGMENT AT

WHERE MY PIGMENT AT

053: Cyborg?

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:31:45 GMT

I'm hanging out at the church today. I've been teaching Nill different card games. She's particularly fond of Go Fish, because she thinks it's hilarious to make a fish face when I have to draw another card.

...I'm not sure how the Bishop knows what his cards are, being blind and all. But he keeps winning.

So I was randomly searching for myself online last night after Nill fell asleep, to see what sorts of things people are writing about me and fucking posting for the whole world to see, and when I searched on Wikipedia, not only did the page on my fandom come up, but the page for "Cyborgs in Fiction". The article says "The character Haine Rammsteiner in the manga Dogs and Dogs/Bullets & Carnage was experimented on as a child, leaving him with augmented regenerative abilities as well as increased reflexes." Sure, okay, that's true, but...

What the fuck? Since when am I a cyborg? I thought that a cyborg was like...a robot person. Like the Borg in Star Trek. I'm not a robot.

ETA: ...apparently according to the fucking dictionary, a cyborg is "a person whose physiological functioning is aided by or dependent upon a mechanical or electronic device."

And I guess that the collar counts as a mechanical or electronic device.

...maybe I am a cyborg.

Fuck that shit.

ETA2: Tieria, Setsuna, Allelujah, and Lockon...I was curious, so started watching the anime of your series. I'm like. An episode and a half in.

052: Bang Bang

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:28:59 GMT

This has been a fucking crazy week. Badou and I have been working our asses off, and it feels like we've barely had a moment to stop and take a deep breath. I don't know what the hell happened in the Underground City, but apparently an unusually high number of people were dealing in revenge this week. Good for us, not so good for the hundred or so people we've killed in the last few days.

Also, what the hell is up with cosplayers? I've seen some pretty scary ones that are horribly off, but I think the ones that are relatively decent are even scarier. I stumbled across this one while I was waiting for Badou to be done in the bathroom:

Weird. I mean...the jacket is obviously not real leather, so that's off, but. Yeah.

That's all for now, I guess.

051: [Filtered to Badou Nails]

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:51:49 GMT

Hey, Badou. I...you should come home. We can't afford a hotel. I'm gonna go stay at the church. So. You can be alone. I'll take Blue with me.

OOC LOG: HAINE AND BADOU

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:15:01 GMT

Who: Haine and Badou
What: ...Badou being pathetic and Haine being cheerful
Where: Their flat
Why: Because. We wanted something fluffy.
When: Sometime after they went to visit Kou and before they went to space. So...last week.
Notes: Your characters didn't see this (well...Blue might've), rated R for language.

---

Badou Nails had depth. That is, he could continually find new depths to sink to, new lows that hadn't been explored before. Curled up on the kitchen floor wearing nothing but a pair of mismatched oven mitts was a new low.

He whimpered.

Haine sat on the tiny counter, observing the pathetic lump on the floor. He smiled affectionately at the whimper. "Do you have to be curled up on the floor?" he asked, stretching out a leg to poke the lump with a toe.

The very trenches of Badou's tortured soul heaved up a miserable sound. "S'cold," he whined, half his face smushed against the dirty tiles. His hair was frizzed up frantically in every direction. "Dun' poke me."

Haine sighed. "...you want another oatmeal bath or some aloe or something?"

Another pathetic noise was all Badou could muster. He listlessly rubbed at his itching, flushed neck with a chartreuse and mauve oven mitt.

Haine slid off of the counter and onto the floor. "Stop scratching," he said, laying on the floor next to his partner.

"M'not," moaned Badou, continuing to worry ineffectively at his bitten and burned neck. His eyepatch was askew, and his good eye glazed. "Dun' f'cking feel good, Haine."

Haine bit his lip. "Well I don't know what to do to help you," he said, sadly. "What can I do?"

"Mercy kill," rasped the other man, pulling his bare, bony knees to his chest. "Poison lipgloss on a super model."

"I'm too selfish for that," Haine replied, sprawling out on the tile. "Besides. You'll be fine in no time."

Badou's expression, if one looked past the fever flush, peeling skin, runny eye, and massive amounts of small, maddeningly itchy bites, was quite unconvinced indeed.

Haine couldn't help a small smile. "You look miserable, mein liebe."

"Would you judge me if I started to cry?" Badou asked whimperingly.

Haine fought a wider smile. "Yes. But I wouldn't blame you, and I wouldn't tell anyone."

"You don't even know," whined the redhead, left cheek still mashed against the tile. The statement sorely lacked the z-snap and hip-cock Badou usually put with it. "It feels like my skin has syphill-erpes."

Haine winced. "If it makes you feel any better, imagine how bad my sunburn would be if I couldn't heal as fast as I do."

One watery swamp-green eye glowered at Haine.

"I would be shedding my skin," said Haine, seriously, staring back, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

Badou hit Haine. More accurately, he lethargically sort of half-flung his hand at Haine's chest, barely making contact with his mitt. The effort exhausted him enough that he actually sagged after it.

Haine laughed. "Sorry."

"Hate you," came the pitiable mumble. "Lots."

Haine patted Badou's oven-mitted hand. "I hate you too."

"Shoot you inna face," muttered Badou tiredly, wiggling his mitt. Presumably, he was trying to make a gun out of his fingers inside it, not that anyone could actually tell.

Haine snorted. "The mental image of you trying to fire a gun in those oven mitts is fucking hilarious."

"Hhhhh," breathed Badou in what was either a laugh or a death rattle. "Use m'toes. Got bendy toes."

Haine reached out to lightly tickle one of the soles of Badou's feet. "Also a hilarious mental image."

"Hhhhh." The redhead shuffled and squirmed little, scrunching his nose. "Dun' tickle me you assburger."

Haine tickled again. "Why not?"

Badou's long, pale toes wiggled. They were one of few places he had not been burnt raw. "'Cuz I don't feel good," he whinged. "Yer'a cock."

Haine smiled again, rolling closer to Badou on the floor. "You're boring when you're ill."

"Play connect the dots with m'fucking bug bites," the redhead harrumphed.

"I've already played that game with freckles," Haine complained. "Bo-ring." He casually (but carefully) draped an arm over Badou's stomach.

"Play 'Name Things Which Are Red'," sighed Badou, mushing his face more into the cool floor. He felt hot to the touch, Haine's arm sort of sticking to him.

"Your skin!" said Haine happily. "That game never gets old."

Had he been in top form, Badou would have crashed his palm into Haine's face and given him a bloody nose. He then would have laughed, and declared himself the winner of the game, perhaps pantsing Haine for the hell of it.

As it was, he sneezed quietly. Some oatmeal flecked out onto the floor.

Haine snorted. "Attractive." He rolled away from Badou a little and stretched. "But seriously. I'm bored."

"Go jack off."

Haine pretended to think about it for a moment, and then rolled over and up into a standing position. "Hm. Okay." He pretended to head off toward the bedroom.

Badou watched him blearily from the floor.

Haine paused, looking back at Badou. "...I don't think I can do it, knowing you're lying there pathetically on the floor like that," he said, leaning against the frame of the bedroom door.

In a labourous movement, Badou rolled completely onto his face. After a few long moments, he gathered his knees up under him, hissing absently at the sting of his burns. Then, slowly, he arched his back up, raising his rear in the air.

He waggled it.

Haine laughed. "So sexy," he said. "Nice."

"Bow chika bow-bowww," rasped Badou. "Hhhhh."

Haine smiled. "This is just pathetic. There's gotta be something we can do to make you less miserable, mon petit puce."

"No more oatmeal baths," mumbled the redhead sulkily. "M'nose isn't the only place I got hidden breakfast treasure."

Haine frowned. "Well, I didn't know what else to do." He absently traced the lines of his collar. "Maybe a normal bath? I'll wash your hair for you?"

"Too much work. And the towel hurts. Scatchy."

"Pat-dry? I'll carry you to the bathroom," Haine offered, running out of ideas.

"Y'just wanna pat my ass," mumbled Badou.

"Quite possibly," agreed Haine, smirking. "How about the aloe, then? Just aloe."

There was a silence. It was a grumpy silence, but it wasn't a totally unconvinced silence.

"Aloe!" insisted Haine. "It's green and gooey! And cool. And I will apply it." He grinned.

"I hate your happiness," said Badou. "And you."

Haine fake-pouted. "Do you not want me to apply it, then?"

"Apply a foot to your asshole," muttered the redhead.

Haine crossed his arms and huffed. "Or maybe I'll just watch TV instead."

There was another silence. This one's tail, however, was curling under it. Badou slurred something inaudible to the floor. It was an assent.

Haine smiled. "Awesome. Lemme get it." He ran into the bedroom to fetch the bottle of aloe they'd procured from Kou.

Badou crawled halfway to the couch, then gave up and collapsed listlessly on one of Blue's chewtoys. It squeaked. Badou moaned.

Haine laughed at the squeak from the bedroom, then emerged back into the main room, brandishing a small bottle of aloe. "TA DAH!" he said.

Dog drool dripped off Badou's shoulder. "Couuuuch," he bleated, like an injured goat.

Haine took Badou's hand and reached for one of his knees, quickly flipping the other man up onto his shoulders, and then onto the couch, as if he were a ragdoll.

Fwump. "I'm hot."

"Sizzling." Haine sat down gently next to Badou and popped the bottle of aloe open.

"Do I smell like bacon?" Badou scratched at his ribcage with both mitts.

"You smell like smoke," said Haine, smiling. "Like you always do." He pushed Badou's hands away and squirted some aloe into his palm, beginning to rub it gently into Badou's chest.

Badou's mitts relocated to his stomach to scratch ineffectively. He looked groggily at the goop on his chest. "Can you eat it?"

Haine snorted and glanced at the bottle. "It's non-toxic, but I don't think it would taste very good." He moved up to Badou's neck and shoulders, squirting a little more of the goo into his palm.

"Looks like guacamole." Badou's eye half-closed at the spread of the aloe. It cooled his hot, itchy skin to a semi-bearable state. He sunk back into the couch a little, and his hair trailed into the goop on his chest.

Haine absently moved Badou's hair out of the way. "It's a little more neon than guacamole," he observed, aloe-ing the redhead's arms. "Is it helping?"

Badou nodded unsteadily, hair plopping right back into the aloe. "Feels good," he grunted begrudgingly.

Haine grinned. "Good!" He continued gently rubbing the aloe into Badou's burned skin. "You'll need to sit up so I can do your back in a sec."

"Ahuh. Can I take the mittens off?" whined Badou, angry that he couldn't scratch his bellybutton properly. That a bug would bite in there was cruel, and evil.

"No. you still can't scratch," said Haine, motioning that Badou should sit up now.

"I can still punch you in the face with 'em." Shuffling up and turning his back to Haine, Badou raised a baby girl pink oven mitt threateningly.

Haine squirted more aloe into his hand, which made a loud farting noise. "That's what I think of your pink oven mitt," he said, grinning and applying the aloe to Badou's shoulders.

Said shoulders shook with laughter. They then rolled a bit, loosening up under Haine's fingers. Badou's mouth twitched in something that could have be a smile, but was probably just a twitch.

Haine gently massaged the aloe into Badou's back and shoulders. "That's better, right?" he said, still grinning.

"Mmmhm," hummed Badou, leaning back. "S'really good. Nice n' cold n' shit." He slyly started removing his baby girl pink oven mitt. Operation bellybutton scratch was go.

Haine was so distracted by the shifting of the muscles in Badou's back, that he didn't notice the movement of his hand until it had almost reached his bellybutton. "Ah!" he shouted, as if Badou were a bad dog. "No! No scratching!"

"Fuck you! Viva la resisting your bullshit!" Badou's yellowing nails were quick, digging in and scratching hard. "Yyyyyeeeeessss! Ow! Ow! Ahhhhh."

Haine grabbed Badou's wrist and pulled it away from his stomach, replacing the oven mitt. "I swear to god I will duct tape that shit onto your hands."

"I'll duct tape your wiener to an angry stray cat!" wailed Badou, fighting with Haine to wrench the mitt back off. "Fuck this!"

Haine growled. "That bugbite is already bleeding. They're going to get fucking infected, and then you'll be even more ill. So fucking stop scratching."

Badou pouted. There was no other word for it. He had a smear of aloe on his nose.

Haine wiped the aloe from his nose, and on impulse leaned in to kiss it. "Be good," he commanded, focusing again on Badou's back.

"Don't see why I fucking should," grumbled Badou. His face seemed a little more coloured, though it was hard to tell with the fever flush and sunburn. "Ain't gettin' anything out of it."

"What do you want out of it," asked Haine, raising an eyebrow.

"No oatmeal ever getting in my asscrack again."

"I don't know if I can promise that, but I'll do my best," said Haine with a snort.

"And 29 blowjobs," the redhead added.

"Why 29," asked Haine, raising his other eyebrow.

"Because your jaw doesn't get tired," shrugged Badou. He settled back down a bit, tugging at his mitts. The burst of energy had tired him out. "I'm startin' to feel all hot and lame again."

Haine sighed. "Pampering you is only fun for a little while," he decided.

"I missed the pampering?" rasped Badou, looking over his green shoulder with a sad face. "Were there corndogs?"

"Oooh. There should've been. I like corndogs," Haine replied relaxing back into an arm of the sofa.

"Me too." On a whim, Badou craned his neck down, licking his shoulder. He made a face. "It's not as good as the shampoo. Can you rub me some more?"

Haine acquiesced. "It's not for eating." He poured some more aloe into his hand and continued rubbing his partner's back amiably.

"Mm." Badou's head lolled, hanging down in comfort. "Danke," he breathed, barely audible.

Haine nodded. "Es ist nichts, mein liebe," he said, softly.

"Then put your back into it, bitch," rasped Badou, a small grin twitching onto a face that had been sulky for days.

Haine pressed into Badou's back a little to hard in retaliation. "What was that?"

"Hergk," winced Badou, hearing something crack.

Haine winced too, not meaning to push that hard. "Sorry."

Badou blinked stars out of his eye. "Kiss it better."

Haine leaned in and kissed the spot, mostly because he knew that Badou didn't expect him to actually do it. "Better?" he asked, squirting more aloe onto the redhead's back, with another loud farting noise.

Despite himself, Badou laughed, squirming as the wonderful coolness hit his burning back. "You're making it fart on purpose! Are you fucking five?"

Haine grinned. "Yes." He began to rub in the aloe.

Badou sighed again, aiming for condescension but ending up with fondness. He was then still, just enjoying his partner's ministrations.

Haine rubbed in the aloe, firmly, but gently enough that he didn't hurt the other man again. "Good?" he asked.

As Haine's voice broke his semi-trance, Badou grinned. He then scooted back abruptly into Haine, his extremely green back smooshing against the albino's chest.

Haine snorted. "You're all gooey."

"You made me gooey," said Badou happily, with an over the top wink. His mitten scratched at his knee as he turned his head back, pressing his nose into the top of Haine's jaw.

Haine couldn't help but smile, his hand automatically moving to rest at Badou's waist. "I did!"

The redhead laughed, brushing a kiss just under Haine's ear.

Haine smiled, his other hand finding the redhead's waist as well.

Badou leaned back against Haine comfortably, eye shuttering again. He buried his face in the fluffy white hair, breathing in, focusing on Haine and not the stings and burns of his body.

"Creepy huffing?" asked Haine, unable to keep a contented smile off his face.

Badou flushed a bit. "Shut the fuck up. No. Just feels nice on my face."

Haine shook his head lightly. "Yeah?" He tightened his hands at Badou's waist a little.

The redhead chuckled stupidly as the spikes tickled his nose. "Mmhmm."

Haine grinned fondly, wrapping his arms around Badou's middle. He turned his face to nip at the redhead's nose. "Mmmhm," he agreed.

Badou felt his heart speeding up. He blinked his eye open a few times, wondering if the malaria was kicking in and eating his organs, or whatever it did. "Holy shit. Feel this. I think I need'ta lie down or something." He slid one of Haine's hands up over his heart.

Haine felt Badou's heartbeat for a moment, non-eyebrows knitting together in worry. "...how do you feel? What's wrong?"

"I dunno." Picking up on Haine's worry, Badou's panic increased. "I'm itchy and burny and tired and shit but I was feeling really nice and oh my god what if I have bugs in my heart?"

Haine sighed. "...you don't have bugs in your heart, Badou." He placed his hand back over the redhead's heart. "It's just racing."

"Why?" He put his hand over Haine's nervously. "Am I gonna have a fucking heart attack? Christ, we thought it would be the lung cancer all this time but nooo, not like anything should ever make any fucking sense-"

Haine rested his forehead gently on Badou's shoulder. "Does it hurt?"

Badou was quiet for a moment. "Nnnn...o," he said slowly. "It just started going crazy. Like after a really intense makeout session. Or a job. Or a round of women's beach volleyball on TV."

Haine frowned. "But nothing happened."

The redhead shrugged helplessly, hand tightening on Haine's. "We'll tell Dr Spaceface or whatever, I guess."

Haine nuzzled Badou's shoulder. "Does it feel bad?"

"I dunno. Yes. No. It was just weird." Badou felt himself calming down with Haine's touches.

"You okay?" Haine tightened his grip.

"Yes," Badou answered immediately, because he knew very simply he was more than okay in Haine's grasp, in their flat. He couldn't think of a single place he'd feel safer. His heart beat on calmly. "Yah, I'm okay."

Haine sighed. "Okay. Good. Okay. I mean. I knew you were okay."

Badou turned his head to look at Haine, crooked quirked smile coming to his lips. "You shit a brick, no you didn't."

Haine smiled sheepishly. "Shhhhhh."

"Fuckass." Badou's body was lax against Haine's again. "Should wash this goopy shit off and take a nap, maybe, though."

Haine nodded, tightening his arms again. "Bath! Can I wash your hair? It's a mess."

"Knock yourself out Fabio," rasped Badou. He felt his heart jump strangely again, but opted not to say anything this time. Haine would just worry.

Haine grinned. "I need a bath too. You got me all gooey."

"Baby that's how I roll," dismissed Badou, waving a mitten flippantly.

Haine laughed. "Nice. Okay, so, bath? Can you walk, or do you need me to carry you?"

"I don't need to be carried like a little bitch." huffed the taller man, sticking his burnt nose in the air.

"You couldn't get from the kitchen to the couch by yourself."

"I feel a little better now."

"...really?"

Badou nodded, scratching a bit distractedly at his chest, just over his heart.

OOC PHONE LOG: HAINE AND BADOU

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:44:17 GMT

Who: Haine and Badou
What: Phone conversations and text messages
Where: Haine at home, Badou at a hotel
Why: They needed to talk about shit.
When: The last two days
Notes: Your characters didn't witness this, Rated R for language.

---

Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 6:48 PM
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: Yo, 'sup, not here right now or I just don't give a SHIIIT. Leave a message and your self-esteem after the beep. Beep. No, just kidding, that was me. Seriously, though.
Badou: [beep]
Haine: [sigh] ...Badou...call me.
Haine: [click]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 6:59 PM
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: Yo, 'sup, not here right now or I just don't give a SHIIIT. Leave a message and your self-esteem after the beep. Beep. No, just kidding, that was-
Badou: [click]
Badou: Mm?
Haine: ...Badou?
Badou: [a rasping noise of confirmation]
Haine: ...hi.
Badou: [soft, humourless chuckle] Hi. Emergency?
Haine: [grumbled] ...you missed the group hit.
Badou: Ah.
Badou: [a pause]
Badou: Told you not to do that.
Haine: Not to do what?
Badou: The group. [a barely heard click of a lighter]
Haine: [a sigh] We need the money, Badou.
Badou: [a sigh] Okay. You alright?
Haine: [a pause] Yeah, whatever, I'm fine. Where are you?
Badou: [sharp inhale of breath, slow exhale] Really fine?
Haine: [another sigh] Yes, I'm fine, I can fucking handle myself. Where are you?
Badou: [monotone inflection] Around. I told you to call if there was an emergency.
Haine: [a long pause] ...fine.
Badou: Yah. [crappy bedsprings creaking] Seeya.
Haine: ...Auf Wiedersehen, mein liebe. [hangs up]
Badou: [dial tone]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 9:22 PM
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: [click]
Badou: [sound of sheets rustling, tired voice] What?
Haine: ...Badou?
Badou: Mm.
Haine: [a long pause] Please come home.
Badou: [more rustling, another humourless chuckle] Its better if I don't.
Haine: ...why not?
Badou: Because, Haine. Just... drop it. [crappy bedsprings creak, then silence] I gotta go.
Haine: ...Badou.
Badou: I said I'll be back. Leave me alone.
Badou: [click]
Badou: [dial tone]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 10:12 PM
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: Yo, 'sup, not here right now or I just don't give a SHIIIT. Leave a message and your self-esteem after the beep. Beep. No, just kidding, that was me. Seriously, though.
Badou: [beep]
Haine: [click]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 10:34 PM
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: Yo, 'sup, not here right now or I just don't give a SHIIIT. Leave a message and your self-esteem after the beep. Beep. No, just kidding, that was me. Seriously, though.
Badou: [beep]
Haine: ...Badou. Please. Fucking talk to me. Just. Fuck...I... [grumble]
Haine: [click]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 10:56 PM
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: Yo, 'sup, not-
Badou: [click]
Badou: [clipped voice] You better be bleeding.
Haine: [pause] Why, you doing something important?
Haine: You wouldn't give a shit if I were bleeding.
Badou: [click]
Badou: [dialtone]

TEXT MESSAGES:
Haine: 12:04 AM
Badou. Talk to me.

Badou: 12:07 AM
Stop it.

Haine: 12:09 AM
Please.

Badou: 12:13 AM
You're not being fair.

Haine: 12:15 AM
Neither are you. You didn't tell me shit, you just left.

Badou: 12:21 AM
Stop it.

Haine: 12:22 AM
Come home.

Badou: 12:29 AM
I will.

Haine: 12:32 AM
Promise.

Badou: 12:36 AM
I promise.

Haine: 12:39 AM
Okay.

Badou: 12:44 AM
Bye.

Haine: 12:56 AM
...bye. Sie sind mein bester freund.

Badou: 1:06 AM
Ja.

Haine: 2:33 AM
Ich liebe dich.

Thursday, August 21, 2008, 1:20 PM
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: Yo, 'sup, not here right now or I just don't give a SHII- [click]
Badou: [fumbling, sloshing of water, a quiet swear] Hello? Shit.
Haine: ...Badou?
Badou: What do you want? Aw, christ, it's all wet now-
Haine: ...I don't know. Sorry. I. Sorry.
Badou: I'll just light a new one.
Haine: ...ah. Yeah. Okay.
Badou: [a long pause, but no click or dialtone]
Haine: ...you okay?
Badou: [a barked, twisted laugh] No. I'm not.
Haine: [a sharp, quick exhale] I know...I...Badou...
Badou: [silence]
Haine: Talk to me. Please.
Badou: You don't want to talk about this. [sharp click of a lighter, sloshing of water]
Haine: Yes I do.
Badou: It'll hurt you. I won't fucking do that.
Haine: This is more fucking important, Badou.
Badou: [silence, shallow breathing]
Haine: [a slight pause] I read the thread.
Badou: [soft noise]
Haine: And I talked to- [cuts off]
Haine: [a sigh]
Haine: ...Badou.
Badou: [sharply] Who?
Haine: [another sigh] Squalo.
Badou: [long silence] What. What did he.
Haine: [pause] Does it matter?
Badou: [long exhale, broken voice] Y-yeah.
Haine: [long pause] I told him to leave us alone.
Badou: Like that- [harsh inhale, short exhale, loud against bathroom tile] -like that'll be fucking hard for him. [long silence]
Badou: [almost inaudible] I'm not. I didn't. I knew I wasn't good enough all along.
Haine: [a long, long pause] ...he said...
Badou: [silence]
Haine: [a heavy, heavy sigh]
Badou: He said what? [strained rasp]
Haine: [another long pause]
Haine: He said...he said that he didn't deserve you.
Badou: [silence]
Badou: What?
Haine: [sigh] You heard me.
Badou: ...But that doesn't make any fucking sense. He said...
Haine: [frustrated noise] Don't you get it? He pushed you away to keep you safe or what the fuck ever.
Badou: ...He's not that stupid.
Badou: [pause]
Badou: Oh god.
Badou: [pause]
Badou: He is that stupid, isn't he.
Haine: [a long silence]
Badou: [silence continues]
Badou: ... [small voice] Jesus.
Haine: [a small, non-commital noise]
Badou: ...I don't think it was entirely bullshit. I mean, he'd had to- think of-
Haine: Hm?
Badou: [low, mostly mumbled] There had to have been some truth it.
Haine: [a sigh] How do you figure?
Badou: [quiet rasp] I don't really matter.
Haine: [a frustrated grumble] Badou. You opened up to him, so he knows you. He knows how to hurt you. He used what he knew would hit you the hardest. And it worked.
Badou: [silence]
Haine: [a heavy sigh]
Badou: [inaudible mumble]
Haine: Hm?
Badou: The truth. I always hate the truth.
Haine: Should I not have...
Badou: No. I meant from him. [tense silence]
Haine: Oh.
Badou: [in a rush] So I know he meant every damn word even if he had an ulterior motive, I know it because I know it's all true, I fucking- I fucking knew this would happen, I shouldn't have, I'm so goddamned fucking stupid, I-
Haine: Yeah. You are fucking stupid. Because you believed him. [pause] ...I don't know.
Badou: I do. [miserable rasp] He doesn't lie.
Haine: Well he did.
Haine: [a slight pause] You don't believe me?
Badou: I don't know what the fuck I believe. I feel played and stupid and worthless and fucking- [harsh inhale]
Haine: ...how can you- [trails off]
Badou: What?
Haine: Nothing. Nevermind. This isn't about me.
Badou: [silence, quiet slosh of water]
Badou: [after a long pause, a joyless laugh] I fucked up real bad.
Haine: [a soft, noncommital noise]
Badou: I don't know what to do now. I'm worthless to him, I'm worthless to you. [another sharp laugh] Guess I'll go eat worms.
Haine: What the fuck do you mean, you're worthless to me???
Badou: You asked me to stop, and I couldn't. Joke's on me now, huh?
Haine: [a heavy sigh] I shouldn't have asked. Don't you ever say that you're worthless to me, Badou. You know how I fucking feel about you.
Badou: [small voice] I made you feel like shit. I just wanted- wanted- well, fuck, I just actually wanted something. That you didn't light on fire. It still didn't mean me and you were anything less. But I couldn't make you understand how much I- [even smaller voice] Fucking worthless.
Haine: Stop.
Badou: I told you not to fucking call.
Haine: No. I mean stop saying that you're fucking worthless, Badou. You are fucking everything for me.
Badou: [spat out, hoarse rasp] Not good enough. Not fucking good enough. I fucked up, I fucked up so fucking bad, with everyone-
Haine: You didn't do anything Badou. I asked you something I shouldn't have asked, and then Squalo...I don't know, he freaked out and pushed you away. You didn't do anything.
Badou: [silence]
Haine: ...I'm sorry I can't understand. I'm trying. I just. I don't care about anything but you. Maybe...maybe that's too much for you. I'm sorry.
Badou: I'm the reason everything's in the shitter.[an audible swallow] If I weren't around, both of you fuckers would be fine. It's me. I'm the fucking problem.
Haine: ...if you weren't around, I would be alone, Badou.
Badou: [pained noise] Maybe that would've been better. I can't do or be what you want. I'm just hurting you. This conversation hurts you. And I wasn't even putting everything into things with Squalo and he still measured me up short, I just- [low, repeated swear]
Haine: [a long pause] ...do you think that you would've been better without me?
Badou: I'd probably be dead, so I don't know if it'd matter. [hoarse laugh] Fuck.
Haine: [softly] Maybe not. I'm the one always almost getting you killed.
Badou: You save my ass more than you get it shot full'a holes. [almost inaudible chuckle]
Haine: [softer] ...if you wouldn't be dead though. You'd probably be better without me, right?
Badou: I'll hang up on you again.
Haine: [a long pause]
Haine: What do you want, Badou?
Badou: [sad sort of laugh] I wanna stop hurting so damn fucking much all the shitfucking time. Or maybe a lobotomy.
Haine: [a small voice] All the time?
Badou: [tenuous, quiet noise]
Haine: ...when we were in space?
Badou: Please don't make me do this.
Haine: [clearly hurt] Sorry.
Badou: [deep sigh] It's not you, asshole.
Haine: Okay.
Badou: It isn't, jesus fucking christ, Haine, you never fucking listen-
Haine: I'm listening.
Badou: I already said- [pained noise] Fuck you, man.
Haine: I know it's not me. I heard you. I believe you.
Badou: [frustrated noise, angry slosh of water] Its fucking my fault. All of it. And I don't know what the fuck to do, other than- sit here and fucking prune.
Haine: If I weren't so fucked up it wouldn't be as hard.
Badou: [soft snort] We're having a conversation involving Squalo and you're doing more than grunting at me. So. Maybe that's progress.
Haine: ...I just never know what to say.
Badou: [quietly] I would've wanted to. Keep seeing him. If he hadn't fucking- if I hadn't been so fucking- lacking- [low, heartfelt swear]
Haine: I know that you did. That's why I took back what I said. And you're not lacking. He said all that to push you away. He didn't mean any of it, and Jesus Christ Badou, do you think I would say that if it weren't true? If he were really that much of an ass to you do you think I'd be reinterpreting what he said to you?
Badou: I...
Badou: No, of course I don't, but...
Haine: But?
Badou: I don't know. He won't even. He said not to. How do I know he wasn't, maybe we're both wrong, the fucking Family and...
Haine: ...do you want me to read to you what he said? He said "I thought this would be better," and "I know my priorities, and I let him know that." Then he said, "I don't fucking deserve him. It wasn't right. You didn't like it either, did you? Just. Keep him happy. Fuck, fuck, if that's the last thing you can do just fucking make him happy, that he never, ever fucking even thinks about me again." That's exactly what he fucking said.
Badou: [silence]
Haine: ...apparently I can't do that.
Badou: Haine.
Haine: Hm?
Badou: Don't be an idiot, you're my best fucking friend, you fucking asshole, you make me happy.
Haine: But you're not.
Badou: S'my own fucking fault. Not yours.
Haine: ...were you happy before...?
Badou: What?
Haine: Before Squalo. Were you happy with me?
Badou: Yeah.
Badou: [pause] When I forgot what a giant fucking failure I was.
Haine: [carefully] But...you needed a break.
Badou: Not from you, shithead.
Haine: Yes, from me. You said that he makes you feel normal, and that you need a break from The Underground. I can't give you either of those things.
Badou: Are you back on that shit? [strained voice] That he's better than me fucking bullshit? Fucking now?
Haine: I didn't say that he was better. [a sigh] Just that I couldn't give you everything you needed.
Badou: [quiet sloshing, sound of water dripping on tile, rustling of a towel] And I can't give you everything you need either. Or anything he needs.
Haine: He has twelve other people to give him what he needs.
Badou: He said that I was...
Haine: Hm?
Badou: [silence]
Badou: [quiet] I used to be upset about that, but I'm not anymore. I was happy to take what I could get, as long as he wanted me to stay. But he doesn't want me anymore. So it doesn't matter.
Haine: Why were you upset about it?
Badou: Because I didn't understand why he'd need me when he had other people, who were less fucked up. [dry laugh] Surprise!
Haine: [sigh] He didn't need you. He wanted you.
Badou: I know that. I just mean I didn't know why he even fucking bothered.
Haine: ...because he wanted you.
Badou: Well. Now he doesn't.
Haine: [sigh] You haven't been listening to me.
Badou: What?
Haine: He still wants you. He just. Freaked out because of family stuff and pushed you away. He doesn't think he can have you anymore and still be what he's supposed to be. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want you.
Badou: [silence]
Haine: ...and again. Would I say that if it weren't true?
Badou: No...
Haine: [sigh]
Badou: ...What now?
Haine: I don't know.
Badou: [door opening and closing, tired creak of bedsprings] ...Fuck.
Haine: I'm sorry.
Badou: Me too.
Haine: [sigh]
Badou: ...I'm sorry I left without talking to you first. I didn't wanna hurt you.
Haine: Yeah, because waking up and finding you gone doesn't hurt at all.
Badou: You got no right to throw stones about that, man.
Haine: [awkward silence]
Badou: [sigh]
Haine: [very softly] Maybe we're just not good for each other.
Badou: No. Shut up. [pained noise] Jesus, don't fucking say shit like that, motherfucker.
Haine: Sorry.
Badou: You really fucking think that?
Haine: We just said that neither of us can be what the other needs, Badou.
Badou: No! That's not what we- at least not what I-
Badou: [something wooden knocked over] Shit!
Haine: [silence]
Badou: Haine, don't do this. Haine. Haine, fuck, I can't, you know I still need, Haine, oh my god.
Haine: I'm not doing anything.
Badou: You don't want me anymore either. Why the fuck would you, oh, shit. Fuck. Fuck.
Badou: [click]
Badou: [dialtone]

Thursday, August 21, 2008, 2:09 PM
Haine: [frantic dialing]
Haine: [phone ringing]
Badou: [click] Jesus, just stop-
Haine: No, Shut the fuck up and listen to me for a second. How the fuck can you say that I don't want you? I'm fucking in love with you. Did you forget?
Badou: Of course I didn't fucking forget, I'm just too much of a fucking loser to know what the hell that's even about, and I don't know what the fuck to do, and that hurts you, and how fucking long is 'I love you' 'Okay' gonna fly before you fucking give up and leave my dumb, incompetent ass, too-
Haine: It has to fly...this is probably the best I'll ever get.
Badou: [frantic laugh]
Haine: ...maybe that's too much pressure for you? I'm sorry.
Badou: [frantic laughter continues]
Haine: [softly] I'm sorry.
Badou: [laughing dies down, breathless] I just wanna. Do good. Be a good friend, a good partner, a good- whatever fucked-up paranoid co-dependent thing we are. I don't wanna lose you. Shit.
Haine: ...I don't want to lose you either.
Badou: Then what the fuck is the- maybe we're not good for each other, and we can't be what each other needs, fuck you, you fucking asshole, what the fuck-
Haine: ...I felt like I was losing you.
Badou: You won't. Ever.
Haine: ...he was becoming more and more and more important to you... [sigh] I'm the Hakkai in this situation.
Badou: I don't want to have four assbabies with Squalo, you shitfucker. And Hakkai and Gojyo are different. They didn't even see each other for years.
Haine: Mm.
Badou: They probably didn't share bathroom time, either.
Haine: [a small laugh]
Badou: [quiet chuckle]
Haine: [sigh] What do we do now?
Badou: Double suicide pact?
Haine: Sounds good to me.
Badou: Koolaid with special ingredients won't work with you.
Haine: You can go for the Kool-aid. I'll just shoot myself in the head.
Haine: Or you can do it, if you want.
Badou: I'd probably fuck it up and shoot your nose off or something.
Haine: You have better aim than that.
Badou: Not when I'm all fucked up on uncool koolaid.
Haine: I'll aim, you pull the trigger.
Badou: Partners to the very end?
Haine: Mmm.
Badou: [quiet cackle] Fucked up shit right there, friend.
Haine: Suits us.
Badou: I'll come home sooner.
Haine: Sooner than what?
Badou: Than I was thinking before. I thought.. you'd be pissed. Or. Any of that other shit.
Haine: ...you thought that I'd be pissed that you left, so you were going to stay away longer?
Badou: Everybody's least favourite coward, right? I... got a lot of shit to work out, too. Maybe less now. Or more. I dunno.
Haine: Ah. Okay.
Badou: ...How's Blue?
Haine: ...Ah. She's. Okay.
Badou: That don't sound comforting.
Haine: My fault.
Badou: What'd you do?
Haine: I was freaking out and I didn't tell her what was going on.
Badou: [sigh] Apologise?
Haine: I did. I think it's okay. I just. Feel bad.
Badou: Mm.
Haine: But she. Knows what's up now.
Badou: ...Ah. Good, I guess. She deserves to know.
Haine: ...a bunch of other people know too.
Badou: ...What?
Badou: Know what? Everything?
Haine: Public thread, Badou.
Badou: [strangled noise] Fuuuuuuuck.
Haine: ...I only told Bel and Blue.
Badou: You gotta- fucking- ask Kamina or- [swearing]
Haine: ...you want me to?
Badou: Is it already too late?
Haine: It's not EVERYONE who's seen it. Just like. Gojyo, An, Tieria...
Badou: [huge groan]
Haine: ...what do you want me to do?
Badou: [sigh] I don't know. Just. Damage control. I can't deal with that extra shit right now, man.
Haine: Mm. Okay.
Badou: Thanks.
Haine: Es ist nichts.
Badou: Ich... Sie Sind mein Bester Freund, Haine.
Haine: [sigh] Sie sind mein bester freund auch, Badou.
Badou: ...Call me tomorrow?
Haine: ...yeah?
Badou: Yeah.
Haine: Gut. I. Yeah. Okay. I'll call tomorrow.
Badou: Danke.
Haine: Es ist nichts.
Badou: Talk to you then, ja? Tell Blue I'm not rolling in a gutter with some syphilitic crack whore.
Haine: Mmm. Okay.
Badou: [soft laugh] Be home soon.
Haine: I'll be waiting.
Badou: Girl. [another laugh, actually sounding happy] Bye, Haine.
Haine: Shut up. Bye, Badou.
Badou: [click]
Badou: [dialtone]

050: ...

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:43:11 GMT

He's still not back.

049: [Filtered to Squalo Superbi]

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:37:24 GMT

Squalo. What the fuck just happened?

048: HOLY FUCKING SHIT SPACE!

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 03:00:42 GMT

This is fucking surreal. It should be fucking illegal for people like us, from the fucking Underground to be in fucking SPACE on a fucking SPACE STATION. There's no gravity and it's fucking crazy and Jesus fucking CHRIST.

Badou had his checkup and he was diagnosed with Heat Stroke and Exhaustion, which wasn't surprising. The doctor lectured Badou about the evils of smoking and blah blah blah. His heart is fine. Perfect, really. He did manage to flail and break a few expensive pieces of equipment during his check-up, especially when they gave him the shots. Fucking whiny little bitch. But they put him in some machine, so his sunburn and bugbites are all gone. That helps in the whiny little bitch department.

Other than that, we're just kind of enjoying being up here, since we have to go home just like...tomorrow or some shit. Thanks Tieria, for bringing us up here, it's fucking sweet. Allelujah, where are you, I haven't seen you yet. Hi Lockon and Setsuna, whasaaaaaap?

Fucking SPACE.

Edit: Germany just won its 9th gold medal of the Olympics. Fuck yes.

047: Work, Work, Work.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:48:47 GMT

Badou and I just got back from Japan, where we visted Kou, who determined that Badou does not have malaria, he's just dehydrated and sunburned, and generally just a whiny little bitch.

Just to be safe (and because Tieria insisted, and OMFG we get to go to fucking SPACE), we're also taking Badou to see some space-doctor that does shit for Tieria's team. Badou's still pretty miserable so that's probably a good thing. Allelujah, maybe we can meet up and say hi or something while I'm there?

Anyway, other than that, Badou and I have just been working a shit ton, so that we can make rent and shit. We've been trying to fit as many jobs into each day as possible, and since Badou is mostly out of commission, I've been working my fucking ass off, and I'm exhausted. I'm ready for a fucking break that doesn't involve a huge vacation/trip.

046: The Olympics

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 01:47:44 GMT

Badou is out for the night with...people. So. I'm bored. And stuff.

I've been watching women's beach volleyball on the Olympics. Men's swimming and gymnastics are on next.

That's about it.

What is everyone else up to tonight?

045: Sixteen Things to Sixteen People

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:43:24 GMT

Badou and I are going on a trip with Killua to see lions and shit. Fucking sweet.

I'm bored. So I thought I'd do one of those ten things to ten people things. But I had a few more people I thought of things to say shit about. So...basically it's a list of sixteen things, but I don't tell you who the people are.

Okay.

1. Congratulations. This probably means I'm not going to see you guys much anymore so. I don't know. Goodbye and good luck or whatever. And thank you for everything you've done for me. This goes for your whole family, you know.
2. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you much recently. I suck.
3. I hate you. So much.
4. Your frustrate me a lot. And I don't know how to tell you that I appreciate what you've done, but also that I wish you would back the fuck off.
5. I promise I'll make things right for you. I fucked it up, but I'll fix it.
6. I wish I were better at talking to you. Because I really do like you a lot.
7. I wish I were better at talking to you too. It frustrates me that I'm not.
8. Same. Although you irritate and confuse me a lot, and half the time I just don't want to even try anymore.
9. I don't trust you, but I do consider you my friend. Thanks for all the shit you've done for me too.
10. Thanks for everything. Mostly. Weirdest friendship ever, though. What the fuck.
11. Despite recent events, having you here has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Thank you.
12. I don't know how I feel about you. You're everything I hate, but I can't blame you. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for what happened, but I'm not angry.
13. Yours is one of the easiest friendships I've ever had. Thank you.
14. I hate you, I'm jealous, but I see what he sees in you, and I wish we could be friends. Sort of. I can't decide. And it's driving me kind of crazy.
15. I kind of have a feeling that I'll never see you again. That you're not coming back this time. So. I don't know. Goodbye. I'll miss you. I don't know if it hurts more or less that it's of your own volition this time.
16. I guess I have nothing to say to you. You already know.

...and that's it, I guess.

Edit: I forgot to mention...Edward and Bella's wedding was on Friday. It was a really nice ceremony and everything. Congratulations, again, guys.

044: ...

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:04:53 GMT

...ah. Thank you to everyone that helped out the other night. I'm sorry.

So Bella and Edward are getting married on Friday. I found an art of them getting married so I thought I'd post it. So here's a link. It's called To Have and To Hold. Congrats, guys.

We're going home soon.

That's all.

043: Bye.

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:40:58 GMT

Sorry.

042: Bored.

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 22:36:48 GMT

I just realized that I haven't updated since before that whole ten years disaster thing.

No, I don't want to talk about it.

Badou's off doing some PI shit, and I'm bored.

I'm too lazy to think of a meme thing or anything though.

I have some tiny bottles of alcohol, though. So. That's pretty awesome.

Shark Week starts tonight at 9. Fucking. Sweet.

OOC LOG: LITTLE HAINE AND LITTLE BADOU

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:51:27 GMT

Who: TYE!Haine and TYE!Badou. They're nine.
What: Waking up in the present, confused. Then they play pretend.
Where: Haine and Badou's apartment in the Underground City
When: The first day of the TYL Disaster
Why: Because they're too cute, we had to.
Notes: Your characters didn't see this. Rated PG!

---

Haine woke up, confused. He was lying on an extremely comfortable mattress with thick blankets on it, instead of the thin mattress pad on the floor of his room. He woke up quickly, sitting up in bed and glancing around the room, his eyes immediately falling to the bright shock of red hair beside him in the bed. The boy didn't look familiar, and in fear, Haine jumped out of the bed and cowered in a corner. Where was he and how did he get here?

The jolt did not awake Badou, who had been a heavy sleeper since the day he was born. He huffed a little, kicking his foot out of the blankets.

Haine's eyes were wide and panicky. There was nothing familiar about this place and his neck ached (it always ached), and he couldn't see or hear any of his brothers or sisters. This boy clearly didn't have a collar. Who was he and where were they and what was he meant to do? Nearly everything had been a test since he'd woken up with the collar around his neck, and mother was always disappointed when he didn't grasp the concept right away, even though he was usually quicker to understand than the others. He wasn't meant to kill this boy, was he? That would make no sense.

We could kill him anyway, a voice whispered in his head, and Haine shivered, still not used to the Black Dog in his head.

"No," he said out loud, "I don't want to." And for once the Black Dog didn't push it, seemingly as confused as Haine as to their whereabouts. Haine stayed curled up in the corner of the room, eyes wide and frightened.

After only a short while [because so many years hadn't tired Badou out yet], the redheaded boy began to stir. Two healthy, murky green eyes blinked slowly open. Badou blearily scratched the right one as he sat up, rolling his shoulders.

It took him a full fifteen seconds to process that this room was not the room of one room flat he shared with his brother. Immediately, he was much more awake, flinging off the soft, thick, and totally alien comforter. "Bro-?"

Haine stood carefully, still pressed into the corner of the room. "...who are you?" he asked carefully.

Badou shouted, jumping out of the bed. He glowered at the strange pale boy. "Who are you?" he snapped back. "What's wrong with your skin and hair and stuff? Your eyes are weird."

Haine didn't answer the other boy's questions. "I asked first. Who are you? Do you live here?"

"No! And my brother says not to tell people who I am, because they'll know him and remember he owes them money," replied the redhead, hands on his hips.

Haine frowned. "Nobody owes me money." He lifted a nervous hand to run over the hard metal planes of his collar, still memorizing its shape. "...so you don't live here?" he asked.

"I said no! What's that thing?" asked Badou. He approached the other boy, noting with a small flush of pride he was a good inch taller. Maybe even an inch and a half.

Haine pressed himself farther into the corner, not wanting the boy any closer. "...collar," he said, clutching it with both hands. "If you don't live here, then do you at least know where this is?" he asked.

Badou sniffed, seeming oddly non-plussed, at Haine's strangeness, at the entire situation. "No. My brother's been here though, it's all smoky and stuff. He'll probably be back." The redhead took another look around the room. He rubbed his nose. "Why do you got a collar on? That's really weird."

Haine looked nervous. "More people will come here?" He suddenly broke from the corner and pushed past the redhead, bursting into the other room of the flat, surveying the scene. Leather couch, stuffed animals, lava lamp, tv, kitchenette, ashtrays and ashtrays and ashtrays. He stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do, when he noticed the windows for the first time. There were no windows in the Below. He ran straight to one and practically pressed his face to the glass. He couldn't remember a time when he could see so much space. "Where am I?" he whispered, his breath fogging the cool glass.

Badou followed the other boy uncertainly, eyes darting over everything. He scrambled internally, seeing the stuffed animals, as they didn't fit in with the theories he'd half concocted [his brother had a girlfriend? and brought him here last night while he was sleeping because they couldn't make rent again?]. The strange albino boy didn't make much sense either, but Badou wasn't exactly esteemed for his logic. Of all things to comment on, he chose, "Holy crap, a real lava lamp!"

Haine was still panicking. He wasn't in the Below. He wasn't with his brothers and sisters, and mama and Freuling, he was in an apartment in the Underground City. A brief flash of hope tugged at his heart. How did he get here? Could he stay? Who the hell was the other boy? Eventually, he turned back to the other boy, "I'm Haine," he said carefully.

Badou's attention was only just barely dragged from the lava lamp. Still somewhat guarded, but trusting that his brother was just up to something stupid again [it was more comforting than it sounded], Badou extended his hand. It was smooth, unscarred. "I'm Badou."

Haine had never shaken someone's hand before, and just started at the other boy, confused. After a moment he tentatively reached out his own hand, unsure of what to do with it.

Taking Haine's hand in his, Badou shook it. A red eyebrow quirked. "Are you like foreign or something? My brother says some people bow to each other. Do you do that? I saw a movie once where these guys bowed and then they like, did all these ninja moves and stuff. It was cool. What's the difference between karate and kung fu?"

Haine backed away from the other boy. "No? What? I don't know."

Unasked, and with no motivations that included cultural courtesy, and probably had more to do with feeling like a ninja, Badou bowed.

Haine frowned. "...no. I don't do that," he said, bringing his hands up to his collar again.

"Oh. Whatever. What's the collar for?" asked Badou again, straightening. His eyes were bright with curiosity.

Haine traced the lines of the collar almost absently. "Mama put it on me. The Dog is in it," he explained. "We all have them."

"I don't have a mother," replied Badou peppily. "I hear they're pains in the-" still slight hesitation, playing at big boys, "-ass. What dog? Can I touch it?"

Haine backed away again, touching the collar protectively, the action jarring it a little and sending pain shooting into his neck where the collar was bolted in. "No!" he said, clearly in pain. "Don't touch me."

Badou froze, hand still barely extended. "Hey. Are you okay?"

The sharp pain subsided quickly, melting into the throbbing ache that was constant. "I'm fine," Haine said, finding another corner to back into. He crouched down, hugging his knees.

Badou followed the strange boy, sitting down in front of him, Indian style, easy as breathing. "You looked like you were hurt. Do you want painkillers or something? I got a concussion once that gave me really bad headaches, I had to to take pain killers for them. This girl I know hit me in the head with a bat."

Haine looked up at the redhead. "Why'd she do that?" he asked, carefully.

The redhead blushed. "She's a stupid girl! She doesn't know anything about anything. I just said her swing was crappy. And it was."

"You play baseball?" Haine suddenly asked, eyes wide.

The redhead grinned. "Yeah! I'm a really good pitcher. I have great aim. Me and Mimi and the kids from the slum play in this abandoned parking lot over by that one wig shop."

"Wow," Haine said. "I've never played."

"We can play later if you want," shrugged Badou. "Mimi and I are in charge of the game. We run it. We decide who's in or out."

Haine's eyes widened further, if that was possible. "Really?"

Badou's ego inflated five times it's usual size, and six hundred times it's size had he been his proper age. "Yeah! And I say you can play. Are you good at like, sports and stuff?"

Haine nodded. "Yeah. I can do almost anything," he said, flushing.

"Like what?" There was a slight pause. "I can write with my toes!"

"I've never tried that," Haine said, contemplating that for a moment. "But I can run really fast and jump really high and if I get hurt it gets better really fast."

"Can you do a handstand?" asked Badou, half hoping he couldnt, as Badou himself couldnt.

"Yes," said Haine, shrugging.

The corners of the redhead's mouth turned down. "I don't believe you."

Haine shrugged again. "I could show you."

Badou scooted backwards from the corner, pointing. "Do it."

Haine stood, then effortlessly flipped himself upside-down, easily balancing. "See?"

Badou gaped. "Holy shit!"

Haine couldn't help a small smile. People were rarely impressed with him. He shifted his balance and lifted one hand, just as effortlessly.

The redhead gasped. "That's awesome! Oh man, you're on my team!" He cackled. "Mimi's gonna be so jealous. Hahaha!"

Haine righted himself, unable to keep from smiling. "Thanks," he said.

Badou beamed, envisioning the stomping victory over Mimi's team, the insults he'd hurl at her stupid girl face. "As soon as my brother comes I'll ask him if he got to stash our stuff before he did whatever he did. I have a really good mitt and a ball somewhere. We can practice."

The other boy's grin was infectious, and Haine's smile widened. "Okay."

"Okay!" Badou looked around, scratching the back of his neck, where his hair was just about reaching. "You said you didn't live here either, right? ...Lets go through the stuff."

"No, I've never been here before," Haine agreed. "You mean just look through whoever's place this is's stuff?"

"Maybe we can take some of it," nodded Badou. "Once I stole some stickers and those pop-firecracker things from a shop down on the main drag."

"Take it?" Haine asked. "Why?"

"To sell it," shrugged Badou. "So you can buy toilet paper and food and stuff. Where should we start? Hey, we could pretend it's like a treasure hunt or something, you know?" He blushed fiercely, looking at his feet, realising boys who were almost ten did not go on treasure hunts. "I mean. Whatever."

"Oh," said Haine, still confused. "A treasure hunt?" he asked.

The redhead looked tentative, but nodded. "Yeah. Like. Pirates and stuff. We could pretend all this-" he pointed to the hardwood, "-is water. With sharks. And the sofa is the boat. And those ashtrays are floating mines."

Haine quirked a small smile. "That sounds like fun."

Badou's face lit up. "Want to? I'm the Captain! I'll pretend to have an eyepatch and a big fluffy hat. With feathers and stuff. You should have a peg leg because you're the first mate. Or do you want a hook?" he rattled, jumping onto the expensive leather sofa.

Haine thought for a moment, as if the decision were important. "Um. I think I'll have a hook." He crawled less enthusiastically onto the couch.

"Okay. You gotta curl your fingers like- yeah! Like that." Badou grabbed a pillow for a wheel, shoving off stuffed animals left and right. He hesitated on the giraffe, instead putting it on one arm of the couch, as a figurehead. "Hey, Haine. What should our boat be called?"

Haine sat on the opposite arm, his pointer finger curled into an appropriate hook. "Oh. I don't know. What sorts of names do boats have?"

"Uhmmm. Like. The Avenger! Or. The Sea Mistress! Or. Uh. Maybe Ron."

"Why Ron?" asked Haine, seating one of the stuffed dogs next to him.

"Dunno. Seems like a, uhm, sturdy name. And a boat should be sturdy right? Or it'd sink." Badou looked back. "Who's he?"

"I guess Ron is fine, then," Haine said. He looked over at the dog. "Oh. I don't know. I just figured that we should have a dog. Is that okay?"

"You're allowed to make decisions as the first mate," nodded Badou. "We need some crew. Not the shark, though, he's obviously a bad guy."

"And...and the snake is a sea monster," Haine said carefully. "The other dog and the panda can come aboard though, okay?"

"Okay!" agreed Badou, kicking the snake onto the floor ruthlessly, as if it would really bite him. "Does a first mate have a first mate?"

Haine pulled the purple dog and the panda back up on the couch. "Oh. I don't know. I don't know anything about boats," he said.

"Do you want one?"

Haine thought again. "Yes. Can this dog be my first mate?" He asked, pointing to the dog sitting next to him.

"Sure. That means you can give him orders and shout at him about poop swabbing," explained Badou, turning his pillow wheel. "Ready?"

Haine smiled. "Okay."

Badou spun his 'wheel.' "Starboard and port! Seventy five! Order up with a plate of chips!" He made a hard turn with the pillow, then through his body around. "It's a storm! The sharks are attacking! And also the sea monster!"

Haine did his best to keep up, pretending to almost fall over several times. "What do we do?" he asked.

"ATTAAAAACK!" roared Captain Badou, flourishing the panda. "SACRIFICE YOUR BODY!"

Haine laughed quietly. "That shark has awfully sharp teeth," he observed.

"KICK THEM IN, FIRST MATE!" shouted Badou, who tended to be just a little too imaginative for the social norm. "THEN HE CAN'T BITE YOU!"

"I could just rip his fins off," Haine said thoughtfully.

"Do both!" cheered Badou. "And call him a fat otter-kisser!"

"...I shouldn't actually break the toy, right?" asked Haine, flushing lightly.

"Uh, probably not," Badou stage whispered. "In case we get in trouble. It might be my brother's girlfriend's or something."

Haine nodded emphatically. He didn't like getting in trouble. So he pretended to kick the shark's teeth in and mock-ripped off his fins, flipping the shark onto its back when he was done and pronouncing it dead.

At the end of this display, Badou pitched himself off the couch. He had to scramble a few inches to properly entangle himself in the sea beast. "OH BALLS! HELP, HELP!"

Haine leaned over on the couch, reaching his hand out for Badou's. "Give me your hand," he said in mock desperation, "I'll save you."

"Kick it's ass first!" prompted Badou, who watched far too many films not suitable for his age bracket when his brother worked late.

Haine nodded and did a cartwheel off the couch, and pretended to strangle the sea beast (which struggled).

Badou had to try very hard not to break character to oggle the cartwheel [another thing he couldn't do]. He'd have to ask Haine later. "That's right! Here, I'll hold him and you punch!"

"Okay," Haine agreed, punching the stuffed snake in the face. "Hurry, while he's stunned, take my hand!"

Badou did, clasping Haine's hand and kicking the limp toy a few inches away. "Screw you!" he shouted after it.

Haine pulled Badou back and onto the couch as if he weighed nothing. "Does that mean we win?" he asked, forgetting to let go of the other boy's hand

"Yep," nodded Badou. "Now it's safe to swim to the island to look for the treasure because they're all dead or scared or both."

Haine nodded. "Okay. Where should we look first?"

"Uhmmm." Badou bit his fingernails. They were already bitten down to the quick. "How about in that cave?" he asked, pointing to the bedroom.

Haine nodded. "Okay." He paused for a moment. "You go first."

Badou nodded, jumping off the couch and 'swimming' across the floor, arm over arm as he walked. He pretended to jump on 'land' as he reached the doorway. "Come on!"

Haine followed suit, mimicking the other boy's actions awkwardly. "Well we already saw this bed earlier," he said, hoping he was playing the game right.

"We did. On another voyage. The closet," suggested Badou. "I mean... other cave."

"Okay," said Haine, following the other boy. "What if there are monsters in the cave?"

"Then we kick their asses from here to," he paused, "at least to the other side of the bed." Hand on the door, he looked over at Haine. He grinned. "Ready?"

Haine nodded "Okay. Ready."

Badou flung the door open. Unfortunately, he was a little too excited, and Haine a little too close, and it swiped the side of Haine's bare foot, leaving a long, red scratch.

The scratch started bleeding, and Haine jumped back, yelping for a second, before the cut had healed, and he was okay.

Badou, however, was not. "Oh, crap! Sorry- do you need a bandaid?" He'd seen the blood, the wood scrape against the other boy's foot.

Haine shook his head. "No. No, I'm fine," he said. "What's in the clos--cave?"

Not listening, redhead craned down at his foot. "Hey, it stopped bleeding already."

Haine reached down to wipe the blood away from his foot, wiping it absentmindedly on his shirt. "Yeah, it's fine, don't worry about it."

Badou was still peering down at the foot. His eyebrows slowly creased. "...Where's the scrape...?"

"It didn't get scraped, it's fine," Haine said, trying to dismiss it. "Look, there's a giant coat and two suits."

The redhead frowned [he saw it he did], but was of the easily distracted sort. He looked. "Ooh. The coat's awesome." He pulled Haine's coat out of the closet, all black fur and leather. His brother could sell that.

Haine let himself be distracted too. "Oooh. That is awesome. I like leather. Can I try it on?"

Badou nodded, handing off the coat and getting to his knees in front of the mostly barren closet. "There's a few boxes. The treasure might be in them."

Haine pulled the coat on. "I feel like an Eskimo," he said, pulling the hood up. "What kind of treasure?" he asked, crouching down next to the other boy.

Looking over at the albino, Badou laughed. "You look like one! We can play Eskimos later." He blushed a little. "If you wanna. And I dunno yet. Help me pull this out, it's heavy."

Haine nodded. "Okay." He reached into the closet to help Badou pull a box out.

The redhead only half realised that he was mostly being pulled through the box than helping to pull it. He flipped open the top, sitting down Indian style again in front of it. "Huh. Looks like photos, mostly."

"Photos of what?" asked Haine, pushing the hood off of his head.

Badou picked a handful up, and his eyes widened almost comically. "Akjnjfk," he said. "Dirty stuff. Oh, wow. Uh."

Haine peeked over Badou's arm. His eyes widened to match. "...what is that guy doing to that pumpkin?" he asked.

Face contorting, Badou turned the picture a couple different ways, as if to understand it better.

Haine averted his eyes. "That's disgusting. Are they all like that?"

Badou shuffled the photos a bit. "N-ooo. Just some of them." He flipped past photos of the Cullens, of the church, of windows and a dog urinating on a sleeping old lady. He stopped. "Hey, this guy looks like you." It was of Haine some ten years in the future, sleeping peacefully on a beach towel. Badou had placed a sand bucket on his head like a hat.

Haine turned back to the photos, frowning. "...he does look like me. That's really weird. Are there more?"

Badou continued to flip. He gave Haine half the pile in his hands. "...Yeah, there are."

Haine took the pile and began flipping through until he found one of Badou being rejected by a group of girls on the beach. "...hey, this guy looks like you, Badou."

The redhead frowned at it. "Whoah, I bet he's as tall as my brother. What with the lines on his face?"

Haine squinted at the photograph. "An eyepatch. Is he a pirate?"

"That'd be cool," nodded Badou. "I bet he is. That's why those girls are afraid of him." He shuffled more photos. "They're together in this one. This one too. And this one.."

"I guess they're friends," Haine said, finding pictures of the two of them together in his own stack. "Most of these are of them."

"It's weird how they look like us," muttered Badou, looking over at Haine's stack. "They're really happy in that one."

Haine pulled that photo out. "I've never been that happy," he said, without thinking.

The redhead hummed thoughtfully, not quite like the other kids in school, who may have scoffed. He handled the photo carefully by the edges, as his brother had taught him [at pain of broken fingers] to never touch the photo itself. "You could be, though."

"What?" said Haine, eying the other boy carefully. "What do you mean?"

"Well you've only lived a little bit of your life, right?" said Badou, thoughtful. "You've got so much more to go still. So even if you haven't been this happy-" he indicated the laughing photo of the two in the treehouse at the Cullen's, "-you could be. Especially if you try. You never know, right?"

Haine stared at the other boy for a moment, unable to say anything. "...yeah," he said finally. "Yeah. Maybe I could be."

"Sure. I'm going to be happier when I'm older, too." Badou smiled at the other boy. "I'll be a journalist and have friends. Maybe girlfriends, too."

"I'll get to stay up here. And I'll be an assassin," decided Haine, smiling back.

"An assassin?" asked Badou, smiling wider. "That's badass."

Haine shrugged. "I'm not good at anything else."

"I'll write about you," promised Badou. "But I'll keep your secret identity."

Haine smiled. "I don't think I'm interesting enough to write about."

"Sure you are," scoffed Badou. "You have lots of, uh, what does he- 'defining features.' The weird eyes and hair and stuff. Especially if you're all assassinating bad guys all over the place. That's news worthy!"

"Oh." Haine touched his hair self-consciously. "I'm just an albino. And it's just what I was made to do. It's not like I'm special or anything."

"I've never met anybody who could do the things you can," shrugged Badou. "Special means retarded, you shouldn't say that. They call me Special Ed Badou at school sometimes."

"All my brothers and sisters can do it too," said Haine, shrugging back. "Why would they call you that?"

The redhead flushed, looking back at the photos. "Because sometimes they get bored of Gingershit."

Haine frowned. "That's not very nice."

Shrugging again, Badou looked embarrassed. "They're jackasses. I hate school."

"I don't go to school," said Haine, sensing the other boy's embarrassment and averting his eyes.

"Lucky," huffed Badou jealously. "Its crappy. Everyone gives you a hard time. I get into fights and everyone blames me even though I never start it."

Haine shrugged. "I wish I could go to school. Is it really that bad?"

"Yeah, it is." Eager to change the subject, Badou studied a photo intensely. "...This guy has a collar like you, kind of."

Haine took the picture. "...you're right." He traced the lines of his collar. "I think the front can come off. It's the same collar," he decided.

"It'd probably be less bulky without the front," commented Badou.

"...yeah," said Haine. "Look, the guy that looks like me has bandages around his neck in most of these."

"Maybe he got hurt," shrugged Badou, missing the point.

"No...I mean it's covering the collar," Haine said. He flipped through a few more pictures. "And the guy that looks like you has an eyepatch in every single picture."

"His brains would fall out otherwise," Badou informed the other boy, knowingly.

"That doesn't make sense. He probably hurt his eye," Haine said, knowingly.

"So there's a hole!"

"Gross."

"And that's where the brains slop out."

"That's disgusting," Haine said, unable to keep from smiling.

"SPLORRRRT." Badou mimed his brains falling out his right eye.

Haine laughed. "Maybe you need an eyepatch too."

"Then everyone will think I'm this weird guy," dismissed Badou, pointing to one of the more eccentric shots of Badou, in which he was gnawing on Jasper's head.

Haine shrugged. "I guess." He kept looking through the photos. "Ooh! Look! An armadillo!" he said, pulling out a picture of Spot and Haine.

"A what?" asked Badou. He squinted at the photo. "What the hell is that?"

"An armadillo!" said Haine. It's an animal. I saw one in a book once. Do you think it's here?"

Badou studied it. "Why would it be here?"

"...I don't know, because there are pictures of it here?"

Getting to his feet, Badou dropped the photos messily on the floor, even after all his painstaking handling. "Let's look!"

Haine grinned. He was enjoying Badou's enthusiasm. "Okay!"

Badou indicated the floor they'd crossed earlier. "Now it's LAVA." He grabbed the plush comforter off the bed, throwing it on the floor. "We need to ride this flying carpet over it and dodge exploding lava-bubbles okay. Don't forget your first mate."

Haine nodded, grabbing the stuffed dog and jumping onto the comforter behind the other boy. "Where should we look?"

"Uhmmm. That jungle," said the other boy, pointing to the outer room again. He was used to playing in a very, very limited space. "Help me scoot! I mean, fly."

Haine smiled, scooting. "Okay!"

The boys scooted across the floor, Badou making enthusiastic lava-popping noises which sounded, on occasion, like massive farts.

Haine laughed, looking around the larger room for armadillos. "Ooh," he said after a moment "what's that, over in the corner?

Badou looked the wrong way. "I think it was take out at one time, maybe."

"No, that corner," said Haine, pointing at the Happy Habitat.

Badou's jaw dropped. "Holy shit! What are they!?" He clapped Haine on the shoulder. "Good find, first mate!"

"Well that's an armadillo," said Haine, "I saw one in a book once," he repeated. "And the other one is a hedgehog, I think. But they're usually brown. This one is white. And has red eye---HOLY SHIT IT'S AN ALBINO!" Haine almost fell over in excitement.

Badou had crouched in front of the Happy Habitat and taken off the lid in a matter of seconds. "He looks just like you!" laughed the redhead.

Haine flushed. "My hair's not as pointy," he said.

Sticking his hands in the tank, Badou reached for the baby hedgehog, missing clumsily as he ran away. "He's fast!"

Haine reached in after him and immediately captured the hedgehog. "Got him!" he said happily. "He's prickly!"

"Does he hurt?" asked Badou, edging close to the other boy to oggle the rodent.

"No!" Said Haine, petting the hedgehog lightly. "Feel him."

The redhead reached out tentatively. He smiled as he pet Hedgeworth. "That feels weeeeird!"

"He's so cool. And he's an albino, like me!" Haine grinned.

"We had a hamster in my third year," pronounced Badou, still petting the hedgehog. "It used to poop these weird little pellets all over the floor every time the teacher let it out."

The hedgehog seemed at ease, recognizing his owners even if they seemed a little bit smaller than usual. He squeaked happily.

Badou squeaked back at it.

Haine grinned.

"Try!" beamed Badou, squeaking more.

Haine squeaked. "I think it likes us. I wonder why it's not afraid."

"Because we're speaking to it in a language it can understand," explained Badou. "Duh."

"It was behaving even before that, though," Haine said, still grinning.

The redhead shrugged. He turned back to the tank, surprised by how the armadillo crawled right into his hands, and then scampered up to his shoulder.

"See! They like us!" Haine said, "That's weird. And awesome."

"What do you think their names are?" Badou tugged gently at Spot's oversized left ear.

"I dunno," said Haine, petting Hedgeworth's soft belly. "But they're really cool."

Spot nibbled at the short ends of Badou's hair. "They're the jungle natives. They're aggressive."

"The hedgehog fell asleep in my hand," said Haine.

"...He was up all night at a cannibalism party."

"...oh, of course."

"Otherwise he'd be totally vicious," nodded Badou. "And hunt your head."

The hedgehog woke up and yawned.

"Yes," said Haine, "so vicious."

Badou laughed and stuck out his tongue.

Haine grinned back, cradling the tiny hedgehog. "I like this apartment. It's pretty sweet."

"It is. I'll be pumped if this is where my brother and I are gonna stay." Spot seemed to want to actually eat Badou's hair.

Haine nodded a little sadly, petting the hedgehog's belly. "You're lucky."

"Today, yeah! This place isn't so bad, and you're gonna be on my baseball team, and we're getting mac and cheese later. When my brother comes back."

Haine nodded. "Yeah. I hope your brother doesn't make me go home."

Badou shook his head, eliciting a startled noise from Spot. "He won't. He'll be happy I won't be bugging him to play with me." Badou flushed. "I mean. Hang out with me."

Haine shrugged. "He won't want to take care of me. Maybe I should go before he comes back..." His eyes suddenly got wide. "You don't think he'd call my mama, would he?"

"My brother's not like that," dismissed Badou immediately, waving a hand. "He's really chill and stuff."

Haine nodded, not really believing Badou. "Okay," he said, still petting the hedgehog, which had fallen back to sleep.

"It'll all be fine. He'll be here soon," Badou repeated, like a mantra. Suddenly, his shoulder felt very, very warm. Slowly, his small nose wrinkled. "What's that smell?"

Haine frowned. "...oh gross, the armadillo peed on you..." He backed away.

The redhead flailed a little, going after Haine. "Get him off me! He's still going! Holy crap! It kind of burns!"

Haine laughed, despite himself, setting the hedgehog down in the tank and picking up the armadillo carefully, putting him in the tank too. "That's disgusting. You smell awful," he said, smiling.

"Shut up!" pouted Badou, shucking off the pee-stained shirt and tossing it at Haine. "Eat piss!"

Haine jumped out of the way of the shirt. "Agh! Don't throw that at me! Gross!"

Badou picked it up with an evil grin, chasing after the other boy. He threw it again. "It's all WAAARM!"

Haine ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. "No!!! Stop it!"

Dropping the shirt in a corner, Badou laughed. "Okay, I got rid of it. Swear on, uhm, butterscotch pudding."

Haine peeked out of the door. "Really? ...you should take a bath or something." He glanced around behind him in the bathroom. "Oh holy crap, there's a HUGE tub in here!"

"Really?" Badou pushed the door open. "It has FEET?"

"It does!" Haine said, grinning. "This is awesome!"

"Does it walk?" asked Badou, looking over Haine's shoulder.

Haine shrugged. "It's a tub, probably not," he said thoughtfully.

"Yes it does," decided Badou. He took Haine's hand again, tugging him towards the tub. "First mate! Lets steer this vessel home!"

Haine grinned and followed the other boy into the tub. "Okay!" He couldn't remember ever having this much fun in his life.

...hi?

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:50:33 GMT

Uh. Hi. So. Apparently I'm ten years in the future from where I'm supposed to be. I mean...that really makes no sense, but it makes a lot more sense than any of the alternatives I could come up with.

So. Yeah. I guess my future self knows some of you, so...I'm sorry I don't know who you are. I'm Haine, anyway, and it's nice to meet you.

I've been trying to figure out how I got here. I mean, I know it's one of those disaster things, and I'm ten years in the future or whatever, but I don't know what happened in those ten years, because I'm not where I'm supposed to be. And I can't decide if I should try to figure it out or not. My brother has been acting really weird. So. I don't know.

...anyway.

OOC LOG: HAINE AND BADOU

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 05:58:16 GMT

Who: Haine and Badou
What: REUNION!!! New pets, presents, cheesy hashbrowns, and a bit of Trying New Things
Where: Haine and Badou's new flat
When: Last night? I think?
Why: BECAUSE.
Notes: Your characters didn't see this, and this is rated NC-17 for language and sexytimes.

---

Badou Nails was watching two pigeons fornicate.

He was not, in fact, into avian porn as such. It was just something to do as he waited for Haine to show. The cold Underground wind whipped through his hair, tangling it impossibly. Perhaps the roof wasn't the best place to wait for his partner.

There was a squawk of passion to his right. On the other hand, where else could he get prime time, classy entertainment like this.

Haine walked down the street purposefully, his bag over one shoulder, a large lumpy garbage bag filled with stuffed animals slung over the other. Once he was finally in view of his building, he couldn't help the grin that practically threatened to take over his face. Hoping he was within earshot, he shouted, "STELLAAAAAA," in his best Marlin Brando impression.

It drowned out the sweet sounds of feathered fornication. Badou snapped up from his lawn chair and to his feet [just about as graceful as if the lawn chair had attempted the same feat]. He came to the edge of the roof, his green coat whipping behind him. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he imitated the loud crow's call from Hook.

Haine grinned even wider and crowed back, waving at the bright orange dot on the roof. He started walking faster, eager to get to the building as quickly as possible.

The redhead howled, pumping his fist in the air. Boots sticking out over the stained concrete edge of the building, he grinned like a madman, waving his arms. He cupped his hands around his mouth again. "Here boy! Here!"

Haine snorted as he came up to the base of the building, practically looking straight up to see Badou. He paused, grinning from ear to ear. "Hi," he said loudly.

"Hi? Hi?" shouted Badou back, leaning out over the edge, hands on his hips. His smile was wide, cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. "That's what the prodigal son fucking says when he finally returns home? I ain't ever heard of something so goddamned-"

But what it was Badou had never heard of was lost in a sudden yelp, as the redhead leaned just a little too far forward in his excitement, lost his balance, and fell off the roof.

The pigeons stopped their coupling to watch the red hair disappearing over the edge of the building.

Haine's eyes widened as the redhead dropped several stories. "Oh shit," he said under his breath, as he lined himself under where Badou was falling, panicking and desperately hoping he could catch Badou.

At the last second, he moved the bag of stuffed animals behind him so it would cushion both their falls.

Badou had just enough time to cover his eye and whimper before he made impact- with Haine's arms.

The force sent them slamming back into the stuffed animals. Gravity brought the tail end of Badou's coat down gently over both of them, with a fwump.

Haine fell with an "Oof!" feeling a few ribs crack - and his arm was probably broken, but he didn't care, and wrapped his arms around Badou in a tight hug.

A deranged laugh came from beneath the fuzzy green coat. Badou pushed it back, eye wild from the adrenaline rush. Not all of it was from the fall. "My bad," he gasped a bit abstractly, returning the tight hug fiercely. "Welcome home?"

Haine grinned, burying his face in Badou's hair and not letting go. "Thanks."

The redhead was again beaming hard enough to power several thousand Christmas trees. His mind adjusted quickly to trauma, after all. "I was up on that fuckin' roof for like two hours," he complained, but the effect was ruined by the happiness in his voice, and the tightness of his grip.

It was quite possible that Haine was smiling harder than he'd ever smiled before in his life. "Sorry," he said, unapologetically. "Train delays."

"Those fucking things are always delayed. What the hell is delaying them? Ain't as if there's fucking sheep crossing down here or something, holy hell. I mean, maybe it could be giant rat crossing. Yeah, that I'd believe. I bet it's just the conductor fucking with everyone. He don't feel like conducting. Or whatever. Sittin' back sippin' his brandy and watching Rikki Lake," the taller man babbled, almost frantically happy. "Do you want to maybe get off the asphalt and what is that shit we landed on?"

Haine laughed. "You're on top of me, you have to get up first," he pointed out. "And these are all the stuffed animals I won you at the fucking amusement park."

"Oh! Right, right." Badou leaned back on his haunches, clearly loathe to break contact, keeping a hand on Haine's arm. He eyed the now slightly more ghetto looking garbage bag and burst out laughing. "Holy shit. No fucking way."

Luckily the arm he held onto wasn't the one that was probably broken. "Yeah. I beat every game in the whole park. Eventually they wouldn't let me play anymore." Haine smirked. "Help me up?"

Laughing, the redhead slipped an arm under Haine's good armpit, scooping the smaller man up to his feet. "Fucking show off. Which were you best at?"

"The shooting ones and the big mallet one," Haine answered, standing and leaning a bit heavier on Badou than was strictly necessary.

Badou crowed. "Those are the ones I told you to play! I am a genius. I am a fucking golden god. Holy fuck, you're back." Badou's scarred hand came up to Haine's cheek, nicotine stained fingers gentle. He grinned madly. "Fucker. I ...you know. Whatever." He mumbled, "Missed you."

Haine grinned back, leaning into Badou's hand. "I missed you too. And I think you broke my arm, so can we go up to the flat and fix it?"

"It ain't healed already? Fuckin' pansy. All the holidays are making you soft." The redhead grabbed up Haine's fallen bags in his free hand, leading them inside. He flipped the finger at a duo of young punks that had been watching them from the end of the street as they disappeared through the rusted doors. "So?" he grinned.

Haine grinned back. His face was starting to hurt from all the smiling. "So, what?" he asked still leaning against Badou. "And be careful with my bag, there's something alive in it."

The colour drained from Badou's face. "OH GOD. DID I SMUSH HIM? DID YOU TAKE IT OFF FIRST? OH FUCK."

Haine laughed. "He's fine. He's in a plastic box thing and we didn't fall on that bag. He's okay. Can we take the elevator? The bag 'o goodies will break our fall if it falls, I'm fucking tired and I don't want to deal with seven flights of stairs."

Shoulders visibly relaxing, Badou nodded, and was oddly quiet and distracted as they made their way to the creaky, unreliable lift.

As soon as they stepped inside the doors, the redhead turned about face and bodily pressed his partner back into the steel. He then brought their mouths together so fiercely and urgently it was more of a bite than a kiss. "Haine," he rasped, encompassing quite a lot in the single word.

Haine made a small noise of surprise, but quickly recovered and kissed Badou back hard, clutching at the redhead's shirt and yanking him as close as he possibly could. "Badou," he said back, the word full of just as much meaning.

The redhead down slouched down into his partner, breathing in the same air. "You missed-" frantic, hard kisses to the albino's mouth, "-so much-" lips clashing, licking, biting, "-fucking good shit on Animal Planet."

Haine snorted, biting back. "I went snorkeling-" a nip, "on the Great Barrier-" a hard kiss, "Reef." He tangled his fingers in Badou's hair. "That's fucking better than-" he tugged at his lower lip, "Animal Planet."

"Even Animal Planet with-" a soft gasp, as Haine bit a sensitive spot, followed by a happy laugh, "me?" His free hand very, very slyly brushed over the other man's abs.

The elevator reached the seventh floor but Haine didn't move to disengage from Badou. He smiled at Badou's light touch. "What would have been best would have been the Great Barrier Reef with you," he said kissing Badou again, this time softer and more lingering.

Badou kissed back with warmth and comfort. "We'll get an inflatable kiddie pool after our next job," rasped the redhead, eye bright as they parted. "And we'll fucking fake that shit. Get some loofahs to float in the water or whatever. And it'll be even better." The door opened behind Haine, sending them staggering a little into the hall.

Haine smiled, pulling Badou along with him towards the door to their flat. "I still have to show you all the pictures I took of the fish," he said, trying to surreptitiously thread his fingers with Badou's.

"I'm sure they'll look delicious," replied the redhead demurely. His eye flicked down at the fingers threading with his. Although he gave his partner a sloe-eyed look, he didn't comment, nor pull away.

Haine grinned, pushing their door open and yanking Badou bodily into the apartment.

Laughing, Badou dropped Haine's garbage bag of prizes gracelessly, taking a bit more care with his other bag. "Watch it, fucker, you break my arm and this night ain't gonna go anything like I planned it. Did it heal funny?"

Haine raised an eyebrow. "You made plans?" He checked his arm. "I think it's fine."

To his complete horror, Badou flushed. He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear in an embarrassed gesture. "No! I mean. Not really. Just like- you know, potatoes and- you know-" flustered, he jerked his chin back towards the bag. "Spot probably wants to meet his new BFF."

Haine smiled and squeezed Badou's hand before letting go and walking over to his bag, which he unzipped, carefully taking out a small plastic enclosure with a very small white hedgehog in it. He held the box up high, so Badou could see it.

The redhead whooped, probably scaring it. "Holy fuck, it's so fucking small-" Eye to eyes with the little creature, he poked at the plastic enclosure. "Hallooooooo little fucker. Hallooooooooo."

The hedgehog backed away from Badou's poking, glancing back at Haine for some kind of encouragement.

Haine grinned and said softly, "It's okay. This is Badou. He lives with me." He looked at Badou. "Just be kind of quiet so he can get used to you."

Badou nodded, lighting a new cigarette quickly. Taking a drag, he blew the smoke to the side of the cage, then said, "Hallooooooooo." Looking back at Haine, he grinned. "Does he meet all BFF specifications?"

Haine snorted. "He's white and he has red eyes. What were the other specifications?"

The hedgehog yawned.

Badou gasped. "DID YOU SEE THAT? HE'S PERFECT."

Haine grinned. "Isn't he!? He's awesome. And he eats bugs, just like Spot, so they can share meals."

"We have an infestation of something with wings and little black legs in the corner of the bathroom," Badou said brightly.

The hedgehog gingerly approached the plastic nearest Badou and tilted its head.

Badou slowly put his finger to the glass, not poking, just keeping it there. "'Suuuuuup, bro."

The hedgehog nosed the glass in interest.

"I think he likes you," said Haine.

"Askgjkg," said Badou, eyebrows drawn up in the middle of his brow. "Let's put him in the habitat!"

Haine grinned wider. "You wanna do it? I hope Spot likes him."

Badou opened the top of the enclosure. "Will he prick me? Are they like skunks? Can he shit stink-spray onto my hand?"

"They're not as sharp as porcupines and the spikes don't come out," Haine explained, laughing. "And they're not skunks. No stinkiness."

The redhead scooped the little rodent up. "Hiiii." He held it aloft, like Rafiki in the Lion King. "Naaaaaaaanshibennyyaaaa! Bababee shee ba boeeeeeee!!"

The hedgehog squeaked in fear.

Badou lowered him. "Sorry," he rasped to it. "I had to, dude. You'll get the joke when you're older." Carrying the hedgehog carefully, he took it over to the Happy Habitat. Spot squeaked with interest, looking up as Badou lowered Nameless Hedgehog into it.

The hedgehog eyed the armadillo warily, backing itself into a corner.

Badou looked over at Haine, panic on his face. "They're not BFFing! They're not BFFing!"

Haine rolled his eyes. "They have to get to know each other first. We didn't BFF right away either."

Badou glared at Spot. "Be a good armadillo. Show him around. BFF, DAMMIT."

Lopsided ears perked curiously, Spot trundled closer to the hedgehog, squeaked inquisitively. It then did a series of squeaks which could translate to, "Wot wot, old chap, don't mind the loud red human, would you like to take a dip in my running waterfall? The water is jolly good."

The hedgehog eyed the waterfall and squeaked back, which could have meant "Okay."

After the two small plops, Badou cheered, getting back to his feet and throwing his arms around the albino [man, not the hog]. "Daaaanke, mein krautling! Fucking look at them! They're gonna fight crime together. You can tell."

Haine laughed. "They're awesome." He hugged Badou back tightly.

"What're we gonna name him?" beamed the redhead, clunking his forehead against Haine's. "Er. Is it a dude, anyway? I didn't check for a dong."

Haine leaned in to nip at Badou's nose. "Yeah, he's a dude. I did check for a dong. And I still haven't thought of anything. Any ideas?"

"Shadow," grinned Badou. "Smokey. Ashes. Schwarzes."

"Name irony?" Haine asked, smiling. "Or how about something about how he's a little albino and I'm an albino. Like. Ditto or Xerox or something."

"You're both little albinos," cackled Badou, straightening to his full height in front of the other man, his hands sliding to Haine's lower back. "Hedgesteiner."

Haine looked up at Badou, scowling. "I'm not little," he said. "And that's too long."

Badou smirked, slouching again to brush his lips against Haine's. "We don't have to decide right now."

Haine nipped at Badou's lips. "Yeah, I guess not. But he needs a name."

"I need things too," rasped the redhead quietly, murky green eye staring intently.

"You do?" asked Haine, staring back. "And what do you need?"

In answer, Badou pulled Haine's face back up to his, kissing him deeply, the hand at Haine's lower back pulling him tight up against his body. When he pulled back for air, he kissed up the side of Haine's jaw and sighed, full of love and adoration, "Cheesy hashbrowns."

Haine laughed, slightly out of breath. "Oooh. Me too."

With a parting nip, Badou released his partner, shucking off his coat and boots on the way to the kitchenette. As his own coat whumped heavily to the floor, his memory jogged. "Oh. Go look in the bedroom closet~"

"Oooh!" Haine said, grinning and heading straight to the bedroom. He pulled the closet door open. "Holy shit!"

In the kitchenette, Badou beamed as he sorted through the fridge for the hashbrowns he'd cooked earlier, and some slices of cheese. "There was a magenta one of the same exact make and size. You're fucking lucky I was mostly sober. Try it on, lemme see how much of a tool you look like."

Haine pulled the jacket on and reemerged in the living room. "Eh?" he asked, pulling the hood over his head.

Frying pan in hand, Badou looked around. He laughed, looking Haine up and down in the fuzzy black coat. "You look like an ninja eskimo. Fits okay?"

Haine grinned, doing a few ninja moves. "Yeah, it's perfect. Thank you. Did you check out the stuffed animals yet?"

"Showcase 'em to me while I melt this shit," hummed the redhead, grinning as he dumped the hashbrowns and cheese into the pan. He used his cigarette to light the stove.

Haine shucked off the jacket and scooped up the giant bag of toys, ripping into the plastic and pulling out a giant tiger. "Ta dah!"

Badou cackled, "Mister Chuckles, I think. His head looks a little dented. Our bad, probably."

Haine snorted, tossing the tiger onto the sofa before pulling out a giant stuffed snake.

"Holy balls, that thing is fucking huge."

Haine raised an eyebrow. "Impressed by my snake, are you?"

"Oh, extremely! I've never seen one that length!" cackled Badou, trailing ash into his hair. "How do you handle such a fuckin' beast?"

Haine snorted. "You just have to take a firm hand with them," he said, curling the snake around the back of the couch.

Badou laughed, making sure the cheese melted onto every hashbrown. "What else?"

"Two dogs, a horse, a shark, and a panda," Haine said, pulling the animals out and lining them up on the couch next to the tiger.

"And that's when they stopped letting you play the games?" laughed Badou, sliding the cheesy mess onto one plate. He rummaged around for forks, turning up only chopsticks leftover from Chinese take out. He speared a couple into the mess, coming over to the couch. He surveyed the haul proudly.

"Well, yes, after the giraffe," Haine said, pulling one more stuffed animal out of the bag.

Badou's smile threatened to take over his face. "A giraffe?" Looking at the small orange and yellow googly eyed animal, he burst out laughing. "FUCK YES."

Haine grinned. "Are you pleased with my haul?" He asked, yanking the plate of hashbrowns out of Badou's hand.

In response, Badou snatched the giraffe out of Haine's hand, and dive bombed onto the crowded couch, wiggling comfortably. With an over the top snuggle to his new giraffe, he let out an infinitely content puff of smoke.

Haine laughed, settling onto the couch between a dog and the panda, and took as big of a bite of the hash browns as chopsticks would allow. "These are fucking delicious," he said, mouth full, so that it came out more like "Thff mff ffmmkmg mmffssh."

"I bet they didn't have good food like that in Australia," mumbled Badou, a smirk pulling at his lips. He scrambled through the animals, resting his head on one of Haine's thighs. "Only roasted kangaroo balls and shit."

Haine snorted. "The food was good, they have sweet steakhouses in Australia, and you know how much I love beef." He took another huge bite. "You want some?"

"I'm good," hummed Badou, finding himself oddly content to watch Haine wolf down the greasy potatoes. "Were you okay in the aeroports? Renji attracts so much attention all the fucking time," said the six foot tall one-eyed chainsmoking ginger.

Haine nodded. "I was okay. The airports weren't too crowded, and Renji knew what to do. You talked to him, didn't you." He took another monstrous bite, making a sound that conveyed his appreciation for the food.

"A little," Badou admitted guardedly, idly making the giraffe climb up Haine's arm and attempt to eat the potatoes too. "What was the hotel like?"

Haine gave the giraffe a stern look, and pulled the potatoes out of its reach. "It was awesome. Big. Outback themed. You should've seen the gym they had there. What was yours like?"

"Yah, I'm sure I would'a given a real shit about the gym," mocked Badou, having the giraffe chase after the hashbrowns. "Mine was intensely fucking posh. All sorts of marble and mahogany and shit. Lots of fireplaces and petrified animal corpses. I didn't bring the moose head home."

Haine rolled his eyes. "It was impressive, even if you weren't going to work out," he explained, shoveling more potatoes into his mouth," and that sounds awesome. I'm jealous. Why didn't you bring it home?"

"That thing chased me for two hours and kept me in a tree for three more. You think I wanna see it every day?" He smacked the giraffe into the side of Haine's face, like a naughty toddler. "Also I think it had, like, worms. Bleghk."

Haine glared at Badou and covered his face with one of the dogs' floppy ears. "Ew. And we really don't have anywhere to put it, I guess."

"I was sort of planning to put it up behind the altar in the church," hummed Badou from beneath a purple floppy ear. "But it was too much effort just for a cane across the back, you know?" He blew the ear off his face in a gust of ash.

Haine shrugged. "The Bishop probably would've just gotten rid of it anyway," he said, "either that or put it up in this bedroom or something." He shuddered and shoveled the rest of the hashbrowns into his mouth.

"Eugh." Badou's giraffe tried to follow the last of the hashbrowns into Haine's mouth. "Best and worst parts of your trip, go."

"Hm," said Haine, thinking as he chewed nad swallowed. "Best would be the snorkeling. It was fucking cool. There were sharks and shit. The worst part was that you weren't there."

"Sharks?" Badou blinked. "And they didn't try to fuck your shit up?"

"Nope! They ignored us." Haine put the plate down on the floor and gently brushed Badou's hair out of his face. "Best and worst of yours. Go."

"Uhmmmm," drawled Badou tonelessly. "Best was... the Northern Lights. Shit was fucking beautiful. Worst was the wormy moose head falling on me, but now I feel obliged to say You Not Being There." He grinned up at his partner, attacking his face with the giraffe again. The redhead brightened. "Wanna see my snowboarding bruises?"

"It's lame if you feel obligated," said Haine, batting away the giraffe. "I'd love to see them," he said tracing over his black eye with gentle fingers. "I've already seen this one."

"That was the cough medicine's fault," huffed Badou. "I was being all fucking badass and like, doing super-whammy-whammy double 280 flippos to get these other ones."

Haine grinned. "Okay, so show me."

Badou wriggled over onto his stomach, pushing down his jeans. He pointed to his right hip, where there was a big mottled yellow bruise. "That's where I was carrying the board against my hip all over the fucking place." Then, squirming more gracelessly, he effectively pantsed himself. "GAZE UPON THE HORROR."

Haine gasped, for effect. "Your ass! That's awful," he said, reaching out for a light squeeze.

As a small segment of time passed, Badou stared up at Haine through a lidded, no-nonsense eye. One red eyebrow arched over his patch. "Ahem."

Haine smirked. "Sorry. Any others?"

"Are you actually going to listen and/or comprehend anything I say for the next fifteen minutes or not?"

"We haven't fooled around in like a week; of course I won't," Haine said, grinning and running his fingers through Badou's hair.

Pulling his boxers and jeans back up to his bony hips, Badou snorted, and rolled back over. Happily, he leaned into Haine's stroking. "Can I have a welcome home sexy poem?"

Haine grinned. "Of course. Let's see." He thought for a moment. "Okay.

I missed you a lot
If you don't touch me I might
Die right on this couch."

"But it's leather! Don't you fucking dare die on this shit, we can't afford to replace it."

"Mitsuru would buy you a new one," Haine insisted, pretending to die dramatically.

Badou laughed, sitting up and tugging Haine down onto him lengthwise along the couch. "There. Toes to nose. Happy?"

Haine grinned. "Yes. Much better."

Badou let out a big sigh, his eye closing in comfort. His hands slipped into Haine's hair and lower back respectively. "I waited a week to collapse on this motherfucker. Oh, Layla. Daddy missed you."

Haine snorted, shifting so that his face rested in the crook of Badou's neck. "You got here before me, didn't you divebomb her as soon as you got home?"

"I didn't want to alone," mumbled Badou sheepishly. "That's depressing. I pulled Sheila in to watch TV. She's all full of potato chips now, sorry."

Haine laughed, nuzzling Badou's throat. "No permanent damage."

Badou made an embarrassing purr-like noise at the nuzzle, flushing slightly. He nuzzled the top of Haine's head, the fluffy white hair tickling his nose. "You didn't miss anything. Mimi snapped my eyepatch a lot and called me a girl every time I went to Buon Viaggio."

Haine kissed the spot he'd been nuzzling softly. "So, the usual?"

"I hate that bitch," pouted Badou, twining his fingers in his partner's hair. "She called you my girlfriend. I almost spilled the whole sordid Buttercup story. It was good you came back today."

"She called me your girlfriend?" Haine asked, kissing Badou's neck again. "What a bitch."

"I know, right? Buttercup would be fucking livid if she found out." Badou sighed at the gentle press of Haine's lips, seeming to sink further into the plush couch and the sea of obnoxious stuffed animals.

Haine smiled, nipping lightly. "Would she be?"

"She might even dump me," admitted Badou, squirming a little at the nip. "And then I'd be stuck with you."

One of Haine's hands surreptitiously found it's way under Badou's shirt, tracing light circles on the redhead's hip as he nipped again, a little harder. "Maybe I should tell her."

"I thought you were on my s-side," rasped the redhead, fingers tightening in Haine's hair just slightly.

Haine let his hand slide higher. "I am. She's holding you back, man."

A lazy smirk started to spread across Badou's face. "How so, mein freund?"

Haine lightly scraped his teeth along Badou's throat. "She's making you lie to fucking everybody, man."

"Ah-" gasped Badou, colouring mildly. "But the macking is fucking amazing."

Haine smirked, shifting to look Badou in the eye. "It is, isn't it."

Badou coloured deeper.

Haine leaned in to kiss Badou's flushed cheeks, reminiscent of their little rp thread in Pein's journal.

"Do you want to do that thing?" blurted Badou, his cheeks and the bridge of his nose still scarlet.

"What?" asked Haine, his lips trailing toward Badou's ear.

"The- with the-" the redhead flustered for a moment, fingers on Haine's lower back twitching. "Mehr," he elaborated.

Haine flushed. "Oh...right. Yeah. I...yeah."

"Yeah?" Badou turned his head, trying to make eye contact with the albino.

Haine made eye contact. "Yeah. I mean. If you want..."

The redhead gave a nervous smile. "Gotta start fuckin' somewhere, right?" There was a tenuous pause as the literal implications sank in.

Haine flushed and laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess so." He leaned in to kiss Badou softly on the lips. "If you ever want me to stop..."

"...I'll punch you in the kidneys and throw you across the room like a ragdoll," murmured Badou back, briefly kissing his partner.

Haine smiled. "I missed you," he said, kissing Badou again.

Flushing with pleasure but saying nothing, Badou responded to the kiss eagerly, mouth opening easily under Haine's.

Haine slid his hand higher under Badou's shirt, curling his fingers around the taller man's ribcage as he deepened the kiss. "Here," he said during short breaks for air, "or Sheila?"

"Sheila," rasped the redhead, embarrassed at the huskiness of his voice. Not a half hour in the door and Haine had already started to unravel his already tenuous self control.

Haine smirked. "Bedroom. Yes." He nipped at Badou's jaw.

"That we have," added Badou with a slightly breathless laugh. "Now? Watch that plate-"

Haine avoided the plate at the last millisecond as he stood up, tugging Badou with him. "Now. It's kind of creepy to be making out in a pile of giant stuffed animals anyway."

Badou laughed, managing to snag the giraffe as Haine pulled him to his feet. He pitched his voice squeakily, making it 'talk'. "Awww, shucks! But I like to watch, Haine!"

"Maybe later," said Haine, batting away the giraffe and tugging Badou towards the bedroom.

Cackling dementedly, Badou tripped after his partner, lanky and ungainly as his favourite animal.

As they entered the bedroom, Haine slammed the door shut (presumably so that the giraffe couldn't watch) and pushed Badou not-so-gently towards the bed.

Badou tripped backwards, falling half on and half off the mattress on the floor. "Sheila catches like a girl," he complained, shifting his bony ass fully on the bed. He grinned madly, sitting back on his elbows. "Lemme see those abs, motherfucker."

Haine grinned back, quickly pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it right at Badou.

Laughing, the smoker snatched the shirt from his face. Sticking two nicotine stained fingers between his lips, he gave a loud wolf whistle, his eye zeroing in on the hard muscles. He wasn't entirely sure where the attraction came from, but also wasn't sure he cared.

Haine laughed, feeling more than a little self-conscious all of a sudden. He couldn't remember Badou ever looking at him like that before. He shucked off his boots, letting them fall to the floor with two loud CLUNKs.

Badou toed off his socks, for once not throwing them balled up at Haine's face [mostly because they were too far away]. "The bondage-bitch pants too," he murmured, indulging a very well hidden voyeuristic streak.

Haine brought his hands to his belt. "You too," he said, trying to fight a flush. "Strip."

"Ja, Kapitan." A smirk on his lips, Badou pulled his t-shirt off carelessly, tossing it off to the side [on top a cold ash tray, a fact he'd lament later]. His eye never left Haine, even as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans.

Haine unbuckled his own belt and unbuttoned the fly of his leather pants, letting them fall over his hips and to the floor, where he stepped out of them. "What next, mon petit puce," he asked.

Badou lifted his own legs, laughing. "Pull!"

Haine grinned, pulling Badou's jeans off and tossing them in a pile with the rest of their clothes.

Down to his boxers and his eyepatch, Badou looked Haine up and down. "Gotta make sure there haven't been any changes, y'know. Turn around, let me see if Renji convinced you to get a tramp stamp or not." And get a look at those damn back muscles, of course. Badou felt vaguely nauseous with the sudden and unexplainable want. He wiggled his finger in the universal sign for 'give us a twirl there's a love etc.'

Haine snorted and flushed, feeling extremely self-conscious, but the way Badou was looking at him sent a little thrill up his spine. He obliged doing a full 360 degree turn for his partner.

Badou let out a frat boy whoop, only half joking. Haine's body genetically designed to be perfect, after all. "Okay, everything's where I left it. No tramp stamp telling the world you're a Naughty Girl Princess Brat or anything." He held out his arms, laughter in his voice. "Here, boy."

Haine grinned, lowering himself onto all fours on the mattress and crawling up toward Badou.

Smiling slyly, the redhead's hands skidded up Haine's chest, long fingers curling over pale shoulders, then sweeping down over strong shoulderblades.

Haine sighed. He'd missed this physical contact. Sure, Renji would have been up for it, but he still felt on edge around the shinigami, and even just a hug would have caused him to stiffen, whereas Badou's light touches were nearly melting him. "I missed you," he said again, leaning in to lightly brush his lips against Badou's.

Badou's fingers traced idle lines up and down the albino's shoulder blades, his lips quirking against Haine's. "The dude-poon, more like," he joked, but his face was beaming with the repeated declaration.

Haine shook his head. "No. I could've had that there if I wanted," he said, making eye contact.

Feeling himself start to blush again, Badou brushed Haine's bangs back from his face for want of something to do. "All over you like stink on shit, wasn't he."

"Pretty much," said Haine, snorting and moving to nuzzle the redhead's cheek. "And I bet he's really good in bed."

The corners of the redhead's mouth turned down. "I bet he's actually got severe erectile dysfunction from all the steroids."

"Matt wouldn't repeatedly fuck someone with erectile dysfunction," Haine pointed out, nipping at Badou's jaw.

The corners of Badou's mouth turned even more down. "He did Mello. Who knows what he's into."

The other shoe dropped. He smacked Haine in the head.

"Stop trying to make me jealous."

Haine scowled and pulled back. "Ow. I wasn't! I was saying that I could have, but that I didn't."

"And that he's probably good in bed," rasped Badou in a huff. "Totally unnecessary. Go back to the biting and kissing, I didn't say you could stop."

Haine pouted and leaned back in, nipping at Badou's lips apologetically.

Despite himself, the redhead nipped back, lapping at Haine's lower lip. "Why I don't I tell you about how all the Alaskans who saw me in that fuckin' cocktail dress wanted to do my blossoming flower so hard."

"But they didn't," said Haine, kissing Badou softly.

"I wouldn't have known how to get the fucking dress off," replied Badou as they parted.

"Of course," said Haine, smirking and kissing Badou a bit harder.

Badou's response was cut off, lost in the kiss and ending up as a "umph" sounding noise. He kissed back open-mouthed and slow, while slyly hooking a leg around Haine's ankle and disrupting his balance on all fours.

Haine slipped and ended up lying flush with Badou. He slipped the fingers of one hand into the redheads hair and further deepened the kiss, still keeping the pace slow.

Hands curling around Haine's shoulder blades, Badou hummed his approval at the closeness. He bit at Haine's lips impatiently, both loving the slow build up and wanting more now. It'd been way too long.

Also growing impatient, Haine suddenly increased both the pace and pressure of the kiss, nipping sharply.

Badou groaned softly into the other man's mouth, taking everything Haine gave him and putting out even more. His scarred hand came up to cup Haine's cheek, pull him in.

Haine's fingers tightened in Badou's hair, while the other hand ghosted up the redhead's side, fingertips brushing over bare skin.

Breaking the kiss, Badou took in much needed air into his toxic lungs. "Fucking hell, I missed that," he managed, chest rising and falling a bit quickly.

Haine grinned, placing several short, biting kisses to Badou's lips. "Me too." He scraped his nails down Badou's side.

"Fuck you," Badou gasped, pulling at the hair at the base of Haine's neck. He slipped two of his fingers into the other man's mouth, smirking.

Haine smirked back, as well as he could with Badou's fingers in his mouth, and swirled his tongue gently around his fingertips as the hand on Badou's side slid lower, tracing the waistline of his boxers.

Eye fixated on where his fingers disappeared into his partner's mouth, Badou let out soft, quiet moan. It was up for debate whether he even noticed Haine's sneakier hand.

Haine's sneaky hand slipped below Badou's waistband as he sucked hard on Badou's fingers.

Making a frustrated noise, Badou leaned up, kissing almost frantically at Haine's face and neck. He slid his fingers in and out of Haine's mouth, mind completely full with pretending what else Haine could be sucking. Absently, he noticed the sneaky hand, and pulled his fingers out from Haine's lips. "Wh-"

Haine grinned, leaning in to kiss Badou again, sneaky hand stilling for a moment. "What?"

"Sneaky," Badou observed, pulling Haine's lips down to his for another hard, brief kiss.

Haine grinned. "I try." he slid his hand lower, tracing the line between Badou's hip and thigh.

Shivering, Badou tried not to arch. "It p-pisses me off you took to this shit like a fish to water."

Haine tilted his head. "What do you mean?" his thumb slid over Badou's inner thigh.

The redhead very carefully controlled his breathing. "I taught you all this shit and you're always the one using it against me."

Haine smirked. "Who else am I going to use it against?" he asked, digging his thumbnail lightly into Badou's thigh. "You could always turn the tables, mon petit puce. But you rarely do."

"You use retard strength," Badou insisted, colouring mildly. "Even when I break your wrist you're off and groping again in under six minutes!"

Haine slid his thumb higher. "If you wanted to, I would let you," he said softly.

"Wanted to what?" rasped Badou, again concentrating on his breathing.

"Turn the tables. Use all your tricks against me," Haine said. His hand stilled. "Is that what you want?"

Badou's head fwumped back in the pillows. "I want you to fucking touch me, asshole!"

Haine smirked. "And that's what I wanted." He stopped teasing and took a hold of Badou with one long, firm stroke, tugging the boxers down with his other hand.

"Fuck," moaned Badou lowly, his eye shuttering. His hand clutched at Haine's hair, and he pressed his lips to the other man's, initiating a desperate kiss as he wriggled the rest of the way out of his boxers.

Haine kissed Badou back with just as much fervor, starting up a slow, steady rhythm.

Badou's sounds of pleasure were muffled by the brutal kiss, and when he tore back for air it was barely a moment before he leaned up to go again. His hand scraped down the hard muscles of Haine's back for purchase.

Haine increased the speed both of the kiss and of his hand, as he rolled his own hips into Badou's hip, gasping into the other man's mouth.

"Saxophone," laughed Badou breathlessly, shuddering hard and bucking upwards. He hooked his arms around the other man, holding him tight and close.

Haine buried his face in Badou's neck, nipping softly as he settled in closer. "Do you still want me to-?" he asked, not slowing the motions of his hand.

Needless to say, it was a little difficult for Badou to think. "Want you to wh-aaah-at?"

Haine flushed, slowing his hand just a little. "...mehr?" he asked.

Badou coloured to match, fingers fanning on Haine's back. "Oh. Y-yeah. Don't you need..." there was a long silence, "...stuff?"

Haine nipped at Badou's throat in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. "Uh. Yeah. You said you got some...right?"

"Uh, yeah." He flushed harder. "I hid it behind the box of photos I keep in the closet. I don't know why I hid it. It's our fucking place and we both knew it was here and it's not like we ever have people over or anything, or like, friends," he babbled.

Haine pulled back to look Badou in the face, a sudden surge of affection clenching his heart. He laughed almost breathlessly. "I love you," he said kissing Badou quickly before jumping up to search through the closet.

Bewildered and blushing, Badou watched Haine's pale ass bound away. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head and taking off his eyepatch as an afterthought.

Haine found the small bottle of lube and sat back down on the bed, absentmindedly reading the label. He turned back to Badou, holding up the bottle. "...got it," he said, flushing and smiling nervously.

"I can see that," replied Badou, equally nervous and smiling. He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, face red. "I don't know. How we should. ...Be... or..."

Haine took a deep breath, leaning back over Badou and kissing him softly. "Well," he said, biting his lip, "one important part is that you need to be relaxed."

"Ja, Geschlechtsgott," joked Badou, clearly not relaxed at all. "I am. Almost. Mostly. Kind of."

Haine sighed, letting his face rest back in the crook of Badou's neck. "No you're not."

The redhead bonked his head into Haine's. "How did you do it?"

Haine flushed. "I was alone. There was less pressure, I guess."

"There shouldn't be any pressure here either," mumbled Badou. "Its just us, right?"

Haine nodded into Badou's neck. "Yeah. But."

"But what?"

"...do you think you can relax for me?"

Badou's fingers twitched. "I'm a really big spazfuck," he confessed, as if it were a grand secret, "but I'll really fucking try, yeah?"

Haine bit his lip. "If you can't...then this isn't going to work," he said, realizing after it came out of his mouth that that was probably extremely unhelpful.

Badou looked slightly alarmed, then affronted. "Do you want to just knock me out first, maybe? That fuckin' relaxed enough for you?"

Haine pulled back, sitting on the mattress a little way away from Badou. He avoided eye contact. "...just forget it. I'm sorry."

Staring at Haine's profile, Badou made a frustrated sound. He inched across the space between them, wrapping his arms loosely around Haine's shoulders, an awkward Spontaneous Hug of sorts. He pressed his nose into Haine's collarbone. "Sorry," he rasped. "I said I wanted to. And I do wanna at least. Try. Its just really nervewracking."

Haine leaned his head against Badou's. "I know. I'm sorry. I just. Don't know how to make it easier. I'm sorry."

Badou shrugged, disengaging enough to look at Haine face to face, murky green eye and blank eye. There was a flicker of a smile about his lips. "It's okay. You're a silly snow white virgin. It's expected."

Haine colored, still avoiding eye contact. "Then why are you trusting me with this?"

"I'd trust you with shit a lot more important than fingers in brand new, exciting places," drawled Badou wryly, tilting Haine's head up to look at him.

Haine laughed softly, looking at Badou. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Me either!" cheered Badou. "So we'll figure it out together, or some shit. Or I'll burst out crying and call you a sexual offender. Y'know? Just like highschool probably is."

Haine snorted, moving to rest his forehead against Badou's. "Yeah. Okay."

Grinning, Badou slid his hand between them, taking a token grope of Haine's abs. "Yeah?"

Haine sighed, smiling. "Yeah. I'm sorry. Kussen mich?"

Badou grinned, pulling Haine's face up for a slow burn of a kiss, his fingers sliding back into the other man's hair.

Haine kissed Badou back apologetically, wrapping his arms around the other man's shoulders and holding on tight.

Nipping sharply after Haine's lips, Badou rasped lowly, "Harder, c'mon. Make me want it." He pulled the albino's body back towards him. One of his hands slipped into Haine's lap, caressing fingers light and teasing.

Haine allowed himself to be pulled, breaking the kiss only for a sharp gasp at Badou's ministrations. He renewed the kiss, hard and biting, sliding his own hand back to Badou's lap.

Badou quit his teasing as he got exactly what he wanted, stroking Haine heavily. Hand moving in Haine's lap just the way Badou knew the other man liked it, Badou kissed back with just as much fire and pressure.

Haine moaned softly into Badou's mouth, holding him tightly around the shoulders with his free hand, as the other picked up speed.

Bucking slightly, Badou pulled Haine even closer. Swallowing the other man's moan, his hand and tongue worked in tandem working to pull forth another.

And it worked, as Haine let out another throaty moan into Badou's mouth. He broke the kiss, trailing his lips along the redhead's jaw.

"I talked- to someone about it," Badou manged to pant, taking much needed gulps of air. He raked his nails down Haine's lower back, matching Haine's pace.

Haine took a sharp intake of breath, kissing his way down Badou's throat, being generous with his use of teeth. "...you did?" he asked.

Badou let out a raspy moan, his neck and throat always a weak spot. Distracted, his hand slowed, and he lost his train of thought completely.

Haine whined impatiently. "Badou?" he asked, sucking lightly at a pulse point.

A pulse point which was beating extremely rapidly. "On top of me," he managed, removing his hand completely and wrapping his arms around Haine's shoulders. He remembered what he'd been saying. "Y-yeah, I talked to Gojyo."

Haine whined and moved so he was lying more directly over Badou. He rolled his hips slowly into the other man's. "...what did he say?"

"Fuck me," gasped Badou.

Haine nuzzled Badou's throat, coloring darkly. "...I want to," he said.

Badou flushed. "What? No. That's not what he said." He paused, realising that was a lie. "Well, it is what he said, but he's been saying that for like fucking ever. But that's not what he said when I asked- well, shouted at him inco-fucking-herantly about- aaaargh-" Bracing himself, hands sliding down to Haine's hips, he ground lightly up into his partner.

Haine was having trouble following. He ground his hips down to meet Badou's. "...what?"

Trying to keep his eyes from rolling into the back of his head, Badou swallowed hard. "About mehr. He said- to distract me and start with one- not- oh fuck rush things or.." Trailing off, Badou bucked up into a jagged rhythm, hips grinding against hips creating the most maddening heat and friction.

Haine groaned into Badou's throat. "I. I know. I-fuck- did research, like you asked."

"Fucking apply it before it's too late and I, ah, ah, roll over and fall asleep," panted Badou, his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure, arousal spiking in his gut at the feel of Haine's hot breath against his skin.

Haine tried to slow the grind of his hips and reached for the discarded bottle, where it'd fallen between two pillows. "You're sure?" he asked, flipping the top of the bottle open.

"No," Badou cackled a little deliriously. "But let's try it anyway. Sexually violate me already."

Haine laughed softly, squeezing a little of the lube onto his fingers with one hand. Smoothing it out between this first two fingers and his thumb, he shifted both of them so they were lying on their sides, facing one another, and wrapped his arm around Badou's waist, pausing for a moment to nip at the redhead's throat. "Okay?"

"Ahuh," breathed Badou, who didn't feel Okay Hunky Dory at all. He awkwardly hitched a leg up around his partner's hip, looking for reassurance on Haine's face, and feeling like he severely needed a smoke.

Haine pulled his face back to get a good look at Badou's, leaning in to kiss him softly as he ground his hips slowly into Badou's and gently pressed the tip of one finger into him.

Badou frowned a bit, contemplatively, kissing Haine back and deciding to ignore the slippery prodding going on back there. He concentrated on the heat pooling between his legs, kissed Haine harder.

Haine, at least a little encouraged by Badou's lack of screaming and flailing, pressed his finger further, nipping at his lips and grinding his hips hard.

Badou moaned at the hard pressure between them, and then cringed and tightened at the further intrusion. His body tensed automatically, his hand scraping at Haine's chest absently. "Thaaaaaat's really really really weird," he rasped in a mumble.

Haine's eyebrows knit together. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"I dunno," mumbled Badou, looking turned on and confused. "This is one of the weirdest things we've ever done, including that time in the wig shop," he added, bemusedly.

Haine snorted, kissing Badou's cheek affectionately as his hand retreated. He rolled his hips into Badou's again. "Okay?"

"Mmm," hummed Badou back, using his hitched up leg for leverage as he pressed back against his partner. He ran his lips along Haine's jaw, up to his mouth for a brief kiss. "Okay."

Haine pressed his finger back in, a bit further this time, carefully gaguing Badou's reaction, so focused that for a moment he forgot to move, and his hips stilled.

Badou's eyebrows drew sharply together, and before he could stop himself, Badou tensed and yelped. "Owww, owowow, whoah, hey, what is that even about," he babbled, squirming uncomfortably, and for some reason pulling at one of Haine's barely existent eyebrows.

Haine withdrew a little, wincing. "...sorry," he said.

"It's okay, just go slow, not in... giant finger-lunges," mumbled Badou, embarrassed, feeling distinctly girly and as if he had messed up. He pressed their foreheads together. "Definitely weirder than the wig shop. Where is the bit you shove at that makes me come?"

Haine smiled, despite himself, and tried sliding his finger in very slowly. "I don't know. I have to find it."

Amazingly, Badou felt his body begin to relax a little. An arm slung around Haine's shoulders, he huffed a laugh, rubbing up against him. "Should'a mapquested that shit first, obviously."

Haine colored. "Well. I know generally where it's supposed to be," he said gently searching with his fingertip."

"You had a look around while I was sleeping or something?" Badou kissed warmly at Haine's jawline, trying to keep hold of the relaxed, safe feeling he found there.

Haine smiled again, still lightly searching. "Human anatomy," he explained, coloring further. Embarrassed, he shifted so that Badou couldn't see his face. He kissed Badou's neck, rolling his hips almost absentmindedly into Badou's.

Eyes slipping shut, focusing only on sensations, and not the nervous thump of his own heart or his mind contemplating what the Bishop would do if he knew where Haine's hand was, Badou relaxed more. He rolled his hips a little more insistently into Haine's. "Try deeper again," he rasped, arm tightening around Haine's shoulders.

Haine complied and inched slowly deeper, answering the roll of Badou's hips with a more insistent rhythm. "Okay?" he asked again.

"A...huh," Badou answered slowly, adjusting to the complete weirdness and slightly uncomfortable pressure better this time. He wasn't pulling anybody's eyebrows, in any case. "Kussen mich?"

Haine resumed his careful search. "Selbsverstandlich," he said, raising his head to kiss Badou- softly at first, but building in intensity.

Badou made a quiet, pleased noise into Haine's mouth, kissing back with fervor, half grinding forward into Haine, half tentatively moving back against Haine's hand.

Haine moved his lips almost desperately against Badou's, but he was still unable to focus completely on the movement of his hips and the building pressure, as he continued prodding gently. This would all be worth it if he could just find it.

Suddenly, Badou's whole body clenched down hard, and he shuddered intensely enough that his jaw cracked. "Fuck," he groaned in overwhelmed surprise, both of his eyes wide and colour rushing to his face. "Ohhhhhhhhh. Wh-what the f-fuck-"

Haine's eyes also widened in surprise, his hand stilling. "Found it," he said, smirking despite himself, still too surprised to say or do anything else.

Badou breathed hard, the smirk on Haine's face both infuriating and arousing. "I f-fucking gathered," the redhead rasped breathlessly, making an effort to unclench fingers like vice grips on Haine's bicep.

Haine flushed. "And?" he asked, unsure.

Badou looked stricken. "It still feels fucking weird as shit. But if you don't do that again really soon I'm gonna physically harm you. A lot. With my fist."

Haine kissed Badou's jaw and moved his finger experimentally, watching Badou's face and holding onto him tightly with his free hand.

Badou inhaled sharply, straining against Haine's hold as he arched. "Ohgodohgodohgodohgod-" he moaned, even harder and louder than the first time. Scarlet deepened across his nose, and his lips seem permanently parted. "Jesus f-fucking Christ."

Haine watched, still surprised at the reaction. "...wow."

Too embarrassed to form words for a minute, Badou caught his breath. "Shut up. K-kill yourself."

Haine flushed almost as darkly as Badou. "N-no! I just meant...I didn't know...I didn't expect..."

Badou cut Haine's stutterings off with a hard, deep kiss, pressing up tight and demanding against him. When he pulled back, his expression told of equal parts embarrassment and lust. "Now you do."

Haine's own arousal spiked with that look and he returned the kiss with just as much pressure and intensity. He rolled his hips hard against Badou's, suddenly feeling impatient. "Do you want...?" he asked carefully between kisses.

Exhaling jaggedly, Badou met Haine's pace in a hard grind. He looked at Haine uncomprehendingly, nipping after his lips. "Want-?"

"Do you want me to keep doing that, or..." Haine trailed off, flushing.

Badou looked uncomprehending, his hair mussed against the side of his head where he'd tossed it against the mattress. "I thought I said something about bodily harm."

Haine laughed softly and kissed Badou again, both grinding his hips and moving his finger.

With several gasps into Haine's mouth, the other man hitched his leg higher up the albino's hip, so aroused it was almost painful. "Please please please," he mumbled, moving against Haine desperately.

Haine increased the speed of his hips, stroking more confidently with his finger. The sounds Badou was making were sending little thrills up his spine.

Kisses growing uncoordinated as Haine grew bolder, Badou found he couldn't seem to stop moaning. He was beyond embarrassment, seeing stars and planets and little goddamned aliens whizzing around in UFOs behind his eyelid. He rolled Haine over, sliding easily on top of him, knees on either side of his partner's pelvis. So close, he was so close.

Haine arched his back and brought his free hand tightly around Badou's shoulders, biting at the juncture of his shoulder and neck, the sounds Badou was making alone nearly sending him over the edge.

"Haine," Badou shouted, sharp and heartfelt like a swear, it all just too much. Pressing down in Haine's lap, he came hard, his vision blurring, his head tipped back and his mouth parted in mindless pleasure.

Haine withdrew his finger and wiped the excess lube off onto the sheets before wrapping both arms tightly around Badou's shoulders, almost overwhelmed by the intensity of Badou's orgasm. He nipped at Badou's throat, trying not to writhe impatiently.

The redhead was simply unable to respond for a few moments. He was breathing desperately into Haine's hair, weak lungs on overdrive. "Hhfflxxx," he finally managed with a mad quirk of a tired smile, sliding a hand down between them, over sticky abs and lower, to give Haine a final few quick, heavy handed strokes.

Haine smiled at Badou's exhaustion, and then gasped and clutched Badou tightly and came after only a few moments with a soft whimper.

The redhead collapsed on top of the other man, not caring about the mess. He pushed his face into Haine's shoulder, giving a huge sigh. He attempted speech again. "Kkssfxx," he breathed.

Haine grinned, nuzzling the top of Badou's head. "I missed you," he said yet again.

"Hmsk," rasped Badou, who then took a resolute couple of breaths, and vowed to cut back on at least one pack a... year. "I missed you too."

Haine sighed happily. "It's good to be home."

Badou nodded sleepily and mumbled his agreement, warning signs that his conscious was fast departing. He slid off Haine groggily.

Haine pulled the covers over both of them, using a corner to wipe the mess off of his stomach. "When you wake up, you wanna take a bath with me?," he asked, snuggling closer to Badou.

The redhead yawned, a lazy grin spreading across his face. "In our clawed tub," he muttered, a hand sliding across Haine's chest comfortably. "Fuck yes."

"Fuck yes," Haine agreed, yawning too, because yawns are contagious. "I was on a plane all night," he said, sighing and letting his eyes drift shut.

"What was the in-flight film?" Badou murmured, obviously the most important question of all. He kissed the bottom of Haine's jaw sleepily.

"It was about vampires in Alaska. 30 Days of Night," he said, curling closer to his partner.

Badou grinned, lazily biting at Haine's throat. "Hsssssssssss."

Haine sighed happily. "Exactly. Lots of blood in the snow."

"Cool," sighed Badou, with a smaller vampiric nip. "Hsss?"

"Mmm," said Haine, starting to fall asleep. "Hss."

041: HOMEHOMEHOME

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:34:24 GMT

I'M HOME! AND BADOU IS HERE TOO! IN OUR VERY OWN APARTMENT WITH THE LEATHER COUCH AND TEMPURPEDIC MATTRESS AND WE HAVE OUR OWN BEDROOM AND A CLAW-FOOTED TUB AND THE ELEVATOR IS EVIL BUT WHO EVEN FUCKING CARES, IT'S FUCKING HOME.

AND WE GOT A NEW PET, HE'S AN ALBINO HEDGEHOG! HIS NAME IS HEDGEWORTH AND HE'S ALREADY BFFING WITH SPOT.

LOOK!

ANYWAY, I HAD A GREAT TIME IN AUSTRALIA IT WAS AWESOME AND ALL THAT, THANK YOU RENJI I HAD A FUCKING AWESOME TIME, BUT OMFG HOME.